


Exile

by bitboozy



Series: Domesticated [48]
Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Gen, Post-Series, Romance, Scotland!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:41:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25715971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitboozy/pseuds/bitboozy
Summary: Despite Alec and Ellie's estrangement, the Hardys take off on their holiday to Scotland.
Relationships: Alec Hardy & Ellie Miller, Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller
Series: Domesticated [48]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550554
Comments: 154
Kudos: 139





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all -  
> Thanks so much for your comments on the last story and thanks for sticking around on this tumultuous journey. 
> 
> Just a heads up that I currently have a professional writing deadline looming so chapters may be coming out more slowly than usual. (Unless procrastination rears its ugly head, of course.)
> 
> Thanks again.

It only took a single day for Ellie to return. Without discussion, she slips back in and a somewhat normal routine is resumed. Alec spends Sunday night on the sofa while Ellie, despite much protestation, takes the bed.

Truthfully, for Alec, it’s a no brainer. The night he spent alone in their bed was almost more than he could bear. He’d far prefer the sofa to sleeping in their bed by himself.

Daisy and Tom are wise enough to understand something is not quite right, though Alec is careful to wake up and remake the sofa long before anyone else is awake.

At work, DI and DCI Hardy keep more or less to themselves. It’s easy enough to do, with no case occupying them. Jenkinson calls them into a meeting to discuss the most recent case. Ellie notes immediately that she was not on the case, that she had been given some version of “compassionate leave” due to the urgency of her father’s condition. She listens in on the wrap up but shares nothing. Alec does not mention that she is in fact the reason they were able to solve the case so quickly. When the meeting dissolves, she throws him an icy glare before returning to her office and closing the door – something she almost never does.

At home, again without discussion, they find themselves splitting up their time with the children. Alec will play football with Fred while Ellie plays with the baby. Ellie will take Fred to the beach while Alec takes the baby for a long walk in her buggy. Fred seems none the wiser, for he is quite occupied either way.

Ellie still spends quite a bit of time at the hospital throughout the week. David has been moved out of ICU but is still undergoing numerous tests and having his condition closely monitored. Ellie and Lucy more or less take turns. Olly has returned to London, vowing to take the train back at the weekend, this time with his girlfriend Laura. David’s _friend_ Sally has been about quite often as well, trying to help as much as she can without getting in the way or overstepping with David’s children. Ellie has been duly impressed by how thoughtful and considerate she’s been.

On Wednesday around midday, Ellie shows up in Alec’s office doorway. He hides his astonishment at her presence with a frown and pulls off his glasses.

“Think we ought to take Fred in to see Dad tonight.”

He blinks, then nods slowly. “Yeah, all right. He’s in stable enough condition?”

Ellie stares at him. “Yes or I wouldn’t have suggested it.”

“Right.” He looks down. “When are you thinkin’?”

“Just before supper, I think,” Ellie replies. “We can grab takeaway on the way home. Pizza or the chippie, whatever Fred wants.”

He nods. “Fine.”

Ellie looks at him briefly, then walks away.

A true argument comes later in the day when they debate whether or not to bring the baby.

“She’s unpredictable, we can’t know what she’ll do,” Alec says as they walk out to the car park.

They’ve each taken their own cars, but they leave at the same time, in order to get to the hospital in good time.

“It’ll do Dad so much good to see her,” Ellie insists. “Anyway she’s not _that_ unpredictable, she’s actually quite calm most of the time. She has extraordinary forbearance for an infant.”

“She could disturb the other patients,” Alec counters.

“She’ll bring them so much joy!”

“Not if she _cries_ , or if she screams. Or if Fred has one of his jealous fits.”

She stops walking when they reach her car and stares at him curiously. “She’ll be surrounded by machines and lights and buttons, she’ll be so distracted she’ll forget she has a _voice_. It’ll be like Disneyland for her.”

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” Alec replies definitively. “It could scare her.”

She places her hands on her hips. “Dad needs to see her. He needs lightness. He needs to see the people he loves. Even five minutes with her in the room will brighten his entire week. If she cries, we’ll take her out. That simple.”

Then she gets into her car.

*

At the hospital, Ellie and Fred walk hand in hand together down the hallway, slowly, allowing Fred to take it in all in. The last time Fred was at the hospital was when Ellie was in labor. This has the potential to be a very different experience for him.

Alec trails them, holding Aila, who is looking around wide-eyed and quiet.

“Will he know me?”

“Of course, little love. His body might be ill but his mind is sharp.”

“Can I touch him?”

“You can touch his hand, and maybe more. We’ll have to see how he’s feeling. Just remember to ask, all right?”

“Will I hurt him?”

“No, sweetheart. You’ll not hurt him.”

“After this we’ll get chips?”

Ellie smiles. “After this we’ll get chips.”

Fred turns around as they walk, a big smile on his face. “Okay, Daddy?!”

Alec lets out a quiet chuckle and nods. “Aye.”

David is in a room with one other person, though at the moment his roommate is not present.

“Hello…” Ellie calls out as they enter. “Anyone up for some visitors?”

“What’s this?” David says jovially, settling himself into a more upright position. “Is that my grandchildren?!”

“It’s me!” Fred jumps in the air when they reach his bed. “It’s me, Granddad.”

“So it is, my good lad.” His gaze flickers over to Alec and Aila. “And your wee sister too, is it. Hello, my darling girl.”

Aila bounces a bit at the familiar sight of her grandfather, then keeps chewing the small rubber teething giraffe in her hand.

Ellie slides a chair over close to the bed and then lifts Fred onto it.

“Give us a hug,” David says.

“Gentle now.” Ellie keeps her hands on Fred as he leans forward to hug him. “Good boy.”

“Ah, I missed you, you know.”

“Me too!” Fred says, settling onto his knees on the chair. “I made you lots of drawings at camp but I forgotted them.”

Ellie pats his shoulder. “We’ll bring them next time, love.”

“How long are you gonna be ill for?”

“Well.” David chuckles a bit. “Dunno the answer to that quite yet, Freddie. But I hope to be out of hospital soon, at least.” He looks at Aila. “How is it she looks ten times bigger in only a week’s time?”

“Grows like a weed, this one does,” Alec replies, bouncing her on his hip. She gnaws on the giraffe and it makes little squeaking noises.

“Are you a weed, Aila?” Ellie shakes her head, knowing that Aila will emulate her. She does, shaking her head back with a grin.

“Oh, that’s quite a trick, my dear,” David says, smiling bigger than Ellie’s seen him do in well over a week’s time.

“The fun fair’s coming back to town Tom says,” Fred tells his grandfather, redirecting the attention back to himself. “When you get better, can we go?”

Ellie can see the pain in her father’s face when he realizes that this is incredibly unlikely. “Hope so, my boy. I hope so.”

*

The following evening, Ellie and Lucy take Fred to the beach. Like his mother, he loves the sunset and gets an inordinate amount of joy out of splashing around in the sea while the sun sets on the horizon. Ellie and Lucy spread out a blanket and watch him, an open tin of biscuits between them. 

“You know we’re meant to leave for holiday on Friday,” Ellie announces, apropos of nothing.

Lucy raises an eyebrow. “Meant to?”

Ellie grabs another biscuit. “Well, with all we’ve got on, it doesn’t really seem the time, does it?”

“You mean Dad.”

Ellie shrugs.

“El, we’re fine. Dad’s still in hospital with twenty-four hour care and if he does get out while you’re away, he’ll surely be in a rehab facility. He’ll not be fully released for ages,” Lucy reminds her.

“I realize that, but it’s still too much to leave you on your own with,” Ellie argues.

“What’s too much? Popping by twice a day to check on him? I can handle it, El. You should go. In fact I’d argue you _need_ to go.”

Ellie chomps on her biscuit furtively. “What’s that s’posed to mean.”

“You know what it means.”

Ellie sighs and lays back on the blanket.

“Don’t let it be on my account, is all I’m saying,” Lucy tells her. “If you cancel your holiday, at least use the real reason for it. I won’t serve as your excuse.”

“What if makes things worse? What if all that…forced togetherness just digs us deeper into this hole?”

“You can’t let it. I think that’s all up to you two.” She takes a bite. “D’you want to save your marriage?”

Just the phrase alone nearly stops Ellie’s heart. The idea that they might _need_ to save their marriage…impossible.

“…’Course I do.”

“Then you need to go on holiday. Sort it out. I swear if you just sit down and talk to each other…this is all so unlike you. You’ve always been able to talk things out, I know you both got caught up and the timing was absolute shite and you’re stubborn as all get out, but it’s time to move past that, don’t you think?” Lucy says. “You’re both better than this.”

Ellie is duly chastised.

Meanwhile, Alec takes a long, long walk at dusk with the baby. Aila has graduated into a front-facing pram, which excites her beyond measure. She bounces and flails and bangs her teething giraffe on the small tray, chattering at birds and neighbours alike.

Most people who pass remark upon how “gorgeous” she is. “Those eyes!” “Those lashes!” “That face!”

Alec feels a bit odd saying _thank you_ in response but realizes it would be worse not to. Aila very much enjoys the attention. He hates to have to interact with people, but he loves his daughter and is quite happy to show her off.

They walk for what feels like hours. Aila never tires. She is mesmerized by everything around her and has something to “say” about everything.

She points at flowers and says “Uh-duh.” She points at dogs and says, “Ya ya gah.” She points at trees and says, “Nananananana.”

Alec responds more or less every time. “Oh, yes.” “Yes, dear.” “Uh huh, that _is_ a puppy.” “Aye, I see it.”

She’s going to be impossibly verbal. Like her mother.

By the time they make it home, it’s just gone dark. She’s finally starting to tire. She’s extremely pliable and cuddly when he takes her out of the buggy. She quickly melts into him when he holds her to his chest.

Fred is set up in the living room watching telly.

“How was the beach, lad?”

He pops some granola into his mouth and he’s proud of Ellie for not giving him smarties. “Good.” His eyes are glued to the screen. But he appears bathed and changed for bed, so Alec is satisfied.

He walks on. Ellie is in the kitchen, standing by the boiling kettle, an empty mug waiting.

“Hello,” he says.

“Oh, hello.” She gesture at the mug. “Tea?”

He nods. “Thanks.”

“Hello, my girl.” After she takes out another mug, she goes to pull Aila into her arms. “Daddy’s got you good and knackered, I see.” She pats Aila’s back and her eyelids grow heavy. She looks at Alec. “You want to make the tea and I’ll nurse her and put her down?”

He nods again. “All right.”

“Say goodnight to Daddy, sweet girl.”

“Ah-yaya,” Aila yawns.

Alec kisses her forehead and Ellie brings her upstairs.

While she’s gone, he readies the tea. He places hers down on the table, then stands leaning on the counter. Daisy pops her head in breathlessly.

“Hi Dad.” She goes straight for the fridge and grabs a yoghurt. “I’m not stopping, just having a quick shower then out again.”

He smiles faintly and nods. Teenagers in the summertime are a rare sight. “Mind yourself, darlin’.”

She disappears again, then he hears her run into Ellie on the stairs. He finds himself primping a bit without realizing it. Trying out different standing positions, holding his mug just up to his lips casually. Then she comes in.

“Oh.” She finds the mug on the table. “Thanks.” But she doesn’t sit. She leans into the marble island and sighs. “She’s really becoming such a – _human_.”

“Who, Daisy?” He smirks.

She tries to hide her smile in her mug. “Aila. Such a personality on her. Strong opinions, an odd sense of humour. I must say she’s a delight to be around.” She takes a sip coyly. “Quite kooky.”

“We did an awfully good job makin’ her.” He leans back against the counter and holds his mug to his chest. He misses her so much. He loves her in the summer. Her swept up hair, her signature outfit of sleeveless blouse and wide, flowy trousers. The way she turns pink when she’s in the sun for more than five minutes at a time, the way she likes to make love in the afternoon whenever plausible. She keeps her toenails manicured for the sake of her sandals but has long given up on her fingernails.

“Well, ‘twas no hardship, was it?”

She smiles. He smiles back. For Alec the moment ends far too soon.

“Listen, I was thinking,” Ellie begins, placing her mug on the island and straightening. “We ought to go forward with our holiday.”

Alec’s mouth opens then closes again. “Right. I – honestly I’d forgotten.”

“Mm, that’s because _you’re_ not the one your sister is phoning day and night.” Ellie brings her mug to her lips again. “We’re meant to leave in two days.”

He looks down, kicking himself. “ _Right_.”

“I was leaning toward skipping it, with my dad still in hospital, but Lucy thinks we may as well go and I agree with her,” she says a bit brusquely. “We’re got the time off from work anyhow.”

“We’ll go then.” He looks at her, then down into his mug.

“Best to take both cars though I think,” she says quickly. “Just so we have them. I’ll drive with Daisy and Aila – just to make feeding easier. You take Tom and Fred.”

He blinks at her. He’s only just now registered that they’re going on holiday at all. “Fine,” he replies pliably. “Lasses against lads.”

“Oh, don’t you turn this into a competition,” Ellie says sternly, but then she smiles wryly. “We both know I’ll win.”

He chuckles, nodding. “Yeah, reckon so.”

Having forgotten herself, Ellie reverts her expression back to neutral. “Should take Fred up soon. Will you get what you need from the bedroom first? I’d like to go straight into the bath after.”

Alec breathes out, deflated. “Yeah. I’ll go now.”

“Thanks.”

He has a small bag prepared that lives in his closet. Mostly his toiletries, which he uses in the downstairs loo. Each night, he adds a pair of pyjamas and stuffs in his book as well. Then he grabs the bag, his pillow, the top blanket that lays over the duvet, and sets up camp in the living room. This has been the routine three nights in a row.

“I’ll give Fred his ten minute warning.” She heads for the door.

“Ellie.”

She turns.

“How much longer?”

She holds onto the doorframe and looks at her shoes before regarding him again sadly. “I don’t know.” Then she goes.

*

After Alec has packed his bag, he leaves it by the bedroom door and allows himself to be lured down the hallway, where Ellie’s quiet, soothing voice is reading to Fred. He stands in the doorway. Ellie and Fred are curled up together as she reads _Room on the Broom_ to him, a favourite no matter the season. It seems so unbelievable for two people to be so beautiful together, Alec thinks. He cannot look away from them. He is certain that Ellie is aware of his presence though she never raises her eyes to him.

When the reading is through, Fred spots him and demands a kiss as Ellie tucks him in. Together they hit the lights and close the door. Without sparing him another look, she starts toward the bedroom.

He lurches forward and reaches for her hand. “Ellie. Hey.”

She stops walking. Stands where she is, back to him. He strokes the back of her hand with his thumb until she finally turns to him.

Ellie takes a tentative step in his direction and he runs his hands up and down her arms soothingly. He very slowly moves in a little closer, holding his breath, terrified she’ll jerk away. But she doesn’t move. She breathes in and out, in and out, watching the expression on his face change from nervous to hopeful. When he catches her eyes briefly flicker over his lips, he takes the cue. He needs to know, needs to see what she will do. Needs to _feel_ how she’s feeling. Words are not working for them at the moment.

He gently squeezes her arms as he leans down. She tilts her head up and he almost stops to smile. Her eyelids flutter closed. He presses his lips to hers and a warmth immediately spreads throughout him. She places her hands on his chest, lightly at first, then leaning into him.

“El,” he whispers, and he receives the only response he truly wanted: she parts her lips and allows herself to be kissed again.

One hand grasps the collar of his shirt. He slides a hand up her back, over her blouse though he's desperate to feel the soothing warmth of her skin. She lets him deepen the kiss and lets out a soft, nearly inaudible moan. But he feels the vibrations.

Then they’re broken apart by the sound of Daisy bouncing down the attic stairs.

“This is me off again!” She lands in the hallway a few steps away from them. “Oh.” Her eyes widen. “Sorry. Um. Carry on.”

She races down the stairs to the first floor but the moment has passed. Ellie takes two steps back and touches her fingers to her lips.

“Ellie, can we – “

“This has to wait,” she says, definitively, as if to convince herself as well as him. “Until we can – until we can get into it. Until we have clear heads and we can…sort it all out.”

He nods. “Yeah.” As far as he’s concerned, he’s clear-headed and ready to sort. But her face tells a different story. “Yeah.”

“Soon.” She nods to herself, looking down. “When we get to Glasgow, when we’re settled.”

“…All right.” All he want to do is reach for her again and pull her into his arms. “I’ll still…I’ll just sleep downstairs then.”

“Yeah. Sorry. Please.” She wrings her hands a bit and looks at him sheepishly. “Just so things are…less confusing.”

He nods, then starts to walk past her to get his things from the bedroom. She stays where she is, at the top of the stairs. When he returns, bag in hand, he stops.

“However long it takes,” he says. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah,” she replies quietly, then gives him a small smile.

He continues down the stairs. When he gets to the bottom, he looks back up long enough to see her disappear quietly into Aila’s room.

He sighs and shakes his head to himself. “Oh, Ellie.”

***


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp I did not expect to have another chapter out so soon, but I made it happen in honor of my favorite person @autumnsonata's birthday! You all have her to thank. :)

The next two nights that Alec spends on the sofa are brutal in a way they have not been before. Before, he’d slowly been getting used to things as they were. Used to drinking many cups of chamomile tea and popping several melatonin tablets to get to sleep – and, admittedly, the occasional glass or two of scotch to make it all a bit more bearable. But after their snog in the hallway, he’s had a taste of her again, literally, and it’s all the more difficult to stay away. He’s gotten _close_ now, they’re making progress. And there’s the promise of resolution in Glasgow which cannot come soon enough for him.

He lies awake on the sofa, afghan pulled up to his chest, thinking about her soft skin and the heat of her fingertips. The perfect swell of her breasts, that thrilling jolt he experiences whenever he unclasps her bra. The way she encourages his every ministration by running her fingers through his hair, grasping and yanking and massaging his scalp. Each moan and groan and gasp. The arching of her back…

He gets so caught up on Thursday night that he has to quickly throw off the afghan and run to the downstairs bathroom to have a wank.

That same evening, a restless Ellie tentatively pads downstairs in her dressing gown. She’s not certain what her goal is – a glass of water, a cup of tea, and maybe if Alec is awake…well, unclear. She did mean what she said about not taking things any further between them physically until they’ve had a chance to sort themselves out properly. But it might be nice to just…sit quietly with him for a few minutes. Perhaps hold onto his hand. Just until her racing mind slows down enough that she can take herself back upstairs and get some rest.

But she finds the sofa lacking him. Blankets strewn about, pillow fallen onto the floor. Curiously she continues down the hallway until she sees the closed bathroom door. But the light is off.

Then she hears him. The questionable smacking sound of skin against skin. The panting. The groaning. The…. “ _Ellie_.”

Her eyes widen and her mouth pops open.

Then she grins and leans back against the door next to the loo. She should run away quick as she can. But it’s just too delicious. Her husband, who has been relegated to the sofa for the last week, is currently in the loo having a wank and thinking about _her_. And a good one by the sounds of it.

“ _Fuck, Ellie_.”

She grins wider and blushes, wondering what exactly he must be imagining. If Tom or Daisy walked by – heaven forbid – they’d probably think she was in there _with_ him.

Finally she hears him finish – she knows well what _that_ sounds like – then listens to him pants a bit and recover. My, my, what a session _that_ must’ve been.

Then she has to make a quick decision. Run away and save him the embarrassment or stay where she is and see what happens. At least they’re in no danger of accidentally having a shag – he’s just spent himself and will be no good for a while.

She runs away. Scurries quickly up the stairs. Then stands at the top and listens. She hears him go to the kitchen – glass of water, she assumes. Then he returns to the sofa and tucks himself in with a sigh.

She realizes, now, that he’s had the perfect idea. _This_ is how she’ll get herself to sleep. Or rather get herself _off_ to sleep. With a sheepish grin and a blush no one can see, she scurries back to her bedroom and locks the door.

*

The following morning is a chaotic one. Both Alec and Ellie are relieved to have gotten themselves a good night’s sleep after their respective wanks. It’s chaos from 6:30am on. Breakfast, last minute packing, cranky babies, and two teenagers who are too knackered to be any help whatsoever.

Alec and Ellie fall easily into their partner/co-parent mode, in which they so frequently excel. There is little they need to discuss, they know each other well enough to make everything happen swiftly and successfully. Best friend and lover mode is set aside and with it, the awkwardness between them is temporarily lifted.

Preparing for a two week family holiday is something they’ve not done before. As a family, the most they’ve done is a long weekend in Glasgow, the weekend of Alec and Ellie’s wedding. And given how little they’ve discussed their impending holiday, the entire family feels a bit ill-equipped.

“Boys car! Boys car!” Fred shouts gleefully as he dances around Alec’s car.

Tom is glumly packing his bags in the boot, dreading the next eight hours in the car with his six-year-old brother.

Alec places Aila in her car seat in the back seat of Ellie’s chair. “All right, darlin’. Let’s get you good and snug.” He buckles her up and tucks her blue blanket around her, knowing full well she’ll just kick it off within minutes. “Be a good lass for Mummy. No tantrums, eh?”

Aila smiles at him innocently, as if the idea of a tantrum is absolutely ludicrous and how dare he. He hands her her teething giraffe and a ring of plastic keys.

“Daddy loves you so much.” He smooches her cheek over and over until she giggles infectiously. His heart leaps. Being a dad is the best thing in the world, he thinks.

When he closes the car door, Aila happily bangs the giraffe against the window and he waves at her.

“It’s not fair that Ailie has a giraffe too, you know,” Fred complains, buckling Rhino, his stuffed giraffe, into the middle seat of Alec’s car.

“Just for teethin’, lad,” Alec assures him. “She’ll have her own wee stuffie soon enough and I promise you it won’t be a giraffe.”

“All right!” Ellie comes barreling out of the house with a suitcase and several other bags. “This is the last of it.”

“Boys car! Boys car!” Fred begins shouting again.

With a groan, Tom gets into the passenger seat. At least with them splitting up the cars he doesn’t have to sit in the back sea _with_ Fred.

Daisy takes the bags from Ellie and starts organizing them in the boot of her car.

“Okay,” Ellie exhales, meeting Alec in between their two cars. “M6 all the way, stopping for lunch somewhere outside Manchester, yeah?”

Alec nods. “Have Daisy text Tom if you need to make an unscheduled stop – for loo breaks and such. Have you spoken to Greer this mornin’?”

Ellie raises an eyebrow. “ _You_ might speak to Greer now and then, you know.”

“I do!” He replies, feigning insult. “She just prefers to deal with you when it comes to matters of…logistics.”

“Shocking.” She rolls her eyes. “Yes, I have, and I’ll text her before we pull out. Reckon we’ll get in around 4pm, what do you think?”

“Barrin’ disaster.”

“Perish the thought.” She places her hands on her hips and nods to herself. “All right. Drive safe then.”

“You too.”

Daisy gest into the passenger seat of Ellie’s car. Alec and Ellie stand on their own.

“Did you lock the front door?” Alec asks.

“Yeah.” She looks down, then up again, this time a little pink. “Can I tell you something?”

He just looks at her suspiciously.

“Couldn’t sleep last night.” She wets her lips. “So I thought of you on the beach in Mallorca. And had myself a nice little wank.”

His eyes widen.

She wants to see if _he’ll_ confess.

“ _Oh_.” He leans against her car.

Tom honks the horn of Alec’s car. “Let’s get on a move on, come on!”

“That’s, um.” He lets out a nervous chuckle. “Bit cruel of you. D’you want me to crash the car or somethin’?”

Ellie can’t help grinning.

“I, um. Did the same actually.”

“You thought of yourself on the beach in Mallorca and had a wank?” Her eyes are sparkling. It’s a sight he’s truly missed.

He clears his throat. “Thought of you first time we were in Glasgow. Shag we had upstairs, middle of the afternoon, when we thought no one was home…”

“ _Oh_.”

He clears his throat a second time. “Had to go into the loo to, um…”

“I know.” She smiles.

Tom honks the horn again. “Come on!”

“What?” Alec frowns.

“I came downstairs,” Ellie says. “I heard you. That’s what made _me_ – “

“Oh.”

“Oh.”

They both look away shyly, red in the face.

“Well,” Alec says gruffly. “…Better be off.”

“Right.”

“Right.”

They both turn away and get into their respective cars.

“Sorry,” Alec tells Tom as he turns the key in the ignition. “Your mother’s a bloody madwoman.”

“So sorry, love,” Ellie says to Daisy as she fastens her seatbelt. “Your father’s a right pain in the arse.”

*

They make it to the Glasgow house at about 4:30, only thirty minutes later than they planned, which feels like an enormous success. Greer, of course, is waiting on the front porch for their arrival. After over eight hours in the car, all anyone wants to do is curl up and take a nap. But Greer informs them that the entire family will be showing up for a massive dinner celebration and she’s already started cooking the enormous meal.

Ellie forces a smile. Alec does not even try. When Greer retreats back into the kitchen, they look at each other helplessly.

“…I’m sorry, I need to nurse the baby, I’m just bursting.”

She takes the baby from him and takes her into the living room while Alec and the kids unpack the cars.

The nice thing is, with them being the only people staying at the house this time, each of the kids can have their own rooms, including Aila, who spent the last trip in the closet of the master bedroom. They all seem pleased by this, especially Tom, who no longer has to share a room with Fred. A car ride had been enough.

After everyone has utterly exhausted themselves further unloading the cars, Alec finds Ellie in the living room. She is melted into the sofa, stroking Aila’s hair as she nurses. They both look incredibly relaxed and at peace. He finds he cannot even fault her for it. Instead of disturbing her, he trudges into the kitchen.

“How many?” Alec demands to know, standing in the doorway.

Greer returns to him, holding up a wooden spoon. She’s wearing an apron that says _Fuck You I’m Scottish_.

“How many what, love?”

“ _People_ , how many _people_ , Greer.”

“Oh.” She tilts her head to the side and thinks. “Well just the six of you, myself, Angus, Megan, Melody, Robby, Billy, Emma, Charlie, Archie and _possibly_ Alma from next door.”

“Sixteen,” Alec says, dumbfounded. “There’ll be _sixteen_ people here.”

“Well, six of them are just you lot.”

Alec slumps into a chair. “We’ve just been drivin’ over _eight hours_ you realize.”

“I do, that’s why you see _me_ doin’ all the cookin’,” she replies, turning back to the stove.

Fred’s rapid footsteps can be heard long before he comes into view. “Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy.” Fred crashes into Alec’s lap. “I found a bug in my room.”

Alec sits up and puts an arm around Fred. “What sort of bug, lad?”

“A big one. Can I keep it?!”

Greer cocks her head toward a cupboard. “Empty jars in there.”

Alec stares at her. She grins back. Fred goes and gets a jar.

“Your mum’ll have your head if she catches you with a jar full of a bugs, mate,” Alec tells him warningly.

Fred brings his index finger up to his lips mischievously. “Shhhh.” Then he grins and runs out of the room.

“Ah good that’ll be another strike against me,” Alec mutters to himself.

“What’s that?” Greer says, wiping her hands on a tea towel.

“Listen, Ellie and I are goin’ through a bit of a…rough period.” He shifts uncomfortably in his chair and avoids her gaze.

She blinks at him, her hands moving to her hips. “ _What_?”

“Things’ve been a bit…tense since David went into hospital,” Alec explains evasively. “Been sleepin’ on the sofa.”

“Oh for christ’s sake, you’ve got to be _jokin’_ ,” Greer scoffs. “She hasn’t said a ruddy thing to me.”

Alec sighs, unwilling to dig too deep into the issues at hand. “What we really need is a bit of time to ourselves. Sort things out.”

“Uh huh.” Greer nods. “You need a good chat and a good shag. That’ll do you.”

Alec opens his mouth to argue but realizes that is in fact exactly what they need.

“We’ll take the kids out tomorrow, how’s that,” she suggests. “Give you the whole afternoon here on your own. You can dust off one of Dad’s fifty-year-old bottles of scotch and go at it. Whatever that means to you.”

Alec is looking at her desperately. He sits up straight. “Really?”

“Yeah, ‘course, not a problem on our end, we’re always happy to spend time with ‘em.”

He shifts a bit. “Aila and Fred can be a bit of a handful…”

“Children are always better behaved when mum and dad are away,” Greer replies with a smile. “They want to impress us so we’ll give them chocolate.”

Alec laughs out loud at the oversimplification, but he can’t argue that one either.

“Right then, does this make up for tonight’s wee do?” She asks.

“Thank you.”

*

Alec spends a bit longer catching up with his sister, then goes in search of Ellie. The living room is now empty and the house feels suspiciously quiet. All of the kids, it turns out, are on the front porch. Fred had dumped out his bag of action figures and is playing on the steps. Daisy is on the porch swing holding Aila and Tom is nearby on his mobile.

He pops his head outside. “All right, you lot?”

They all either nod or genially ignore him.

“Where’s your mum?”

Tom shrugs.

“Upstairs, I think,” Daisy replies.

As he walks up the familiar staircase, he takes a moment to think on how grateful he is that his children get on so well. That they can be left to their own devices and be counted on to look after one another without much fuss. That is pure, pure luck.

The door to the master bedroom is closed. He catches his hand at the doorknob and knocks instead. “El?”

“Come in,” she calls back.

He immediately regrets entering.

She stands at the bed rummaging through a suitcase that lay open on the top. Her hair is wet and she’s wearing a relatively skimpy dress slip. He hasn’t seen this much of her in…nine days? Ten?

“Ran through a quick shower,” she says without looking up. “You may want to do the same. Do we know what time everyone’s coming?”

“Uh.” He closes the door behind him and leans back against it, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Hour or so I reckon.”

“So, about forty minutes.” She looks up with a wry smile as she pulls a now wrinkled dress out of her suitcase. “Blast, should have hung this up in the loo while I showered. I’ll hang it up during yours.”

She finds a clothes hanger and then goes into the ensuite bathroom. Though she’s been gone only seconds when she returns, he is struck her by all over again. Her bare shoulders, her damp hair curling into ringlets, her milky thighs, the slip covers so little of her breasts…

He involuntarily clears his throat and she looks at him. “You all right? All that driving done you in? Perhaps you need a little kip first, eh? I’ll be out of your hair.”

Things have most definitely shifted between them over the last two days. She’s softened toward him since their kiss in the hallway on Wednesday evening. They both know now that things will improve, that it will pass, it’s just a matter of time and opportunity. A massive weight is lifted from both of them just in the knowing of that. They are still tentative with one another, still careful and searching, but the anger is gone.

“Ellie.”

She looks up, a bit startled by his inaction. “What, love?”

They both seem to freeze at that. It’s been far too long since she’s called him that and they’re both immediately aware. But it feels silly to make a thing out of it.

And yet, suddenly he feels the prick of tears. He wants her so badly that he thinks he might cry. God, it’s so pathetic. He blinks rapidly and shakes his head. There’s something about this room that’s triggering him, he realizes. The nights leading up to their wedding. And, perhaps even more importantly, the weekend of his father’s funeral. He’d needed her so desperately then, needed to touch her and lose himself in her and she’d let him. In the span of only a few days they’d used this room well, not just for making love but for finding comfort in one another, the respite of being alone with her, the way it had healed him. Her body, a growing Aila inside her. Her voice, her touch…

Christ, the thought is becoming too much, how long has he been standing idly at the door staring. He can’t stop thinking about what an island they are together sometimes, _she_ is his safe space. Being alone with her cures all ills.

“Alec.”

She has taken a step toward him, a look of open-hearted concern on her face.

“Sorry,” he says automatically. Bloody hell, her skin looks so inviting, a light scattering of freckles has appeared along her collarbone just by her left shoulder, a temporary tattoo of the summer sun. How many days have they been there without his knowing?

His wet, glistening eyes meet hers and he moves toward her. He reaches a hand out to touch her upper arm then slides it up her shoulder. At first, she regards him questioningly, but it evolves quickly. She knows him. Knows that her whole self is a balm to him. He takes another step closer when she doesn’t pull away. Almost shyly, almost as if seeking penance, he places his other hand on her waist and keeps his head down, staring at the swell of her breasts as she breathes in and out, heavier now. His hair falls over his face. The hand on her shoulder drifts to her collarbone, thumb stroking. She closes her eyes.

“Ellie,” he whispers unconsciously.

When she opens her eyes again, they are moist just like his. But his eyes don’t meet hers. He doesn’t see it. Instead he dips his head and presses his lips between her neck and shoulder, squeezing her hip at the same time. She tips her head back and breathes out.

Alec is struck by the need to crawl inside her, to have every inch of his skin pressed to every inch of hers.

Then she whispers, a bit raggedly, “We can’t.”

“Mm.” He’s not registered her words. He presses another kiss to her skin, an inch lower this time.

“Alec, we can’t, not yet.”

Ellie reaches for his face and gently lifts his head back.

“I’m sorry,” she says.

He nods, hanging his head. He’s not ready to move away from her yet, to give up this closeness.

“Soon.” She kisses his temple.

With great effort, he straightens up and lifts his head to see her face. “Greer and Angus said they’ll take the kids tomorrow.”

She blinks at him as if she can hardly believe it. “Yeah?”

He nods. “We’ll have the whole afternoon.”

Ellie smiles. “Bless them.” Then she pats his cheek. “It’ll be all right. We’ll say everything we need to say. And we’ll both feel better.”

He nods again. “I love you.” He says it like she’s about to board a ship that will take her to the other side of the world.

“I love _you_.” She kisses his cheek. “Now go have a shower and steam my dress please.”

He can’t help chuckling. “Aye, madam.”

*

The family begins pouring in at about 6pm. The noise is unmistakable. They all carry alcohol of some sort – there’s wine, scotch, beer, even some vodka. Ellie remembers with an amused fondness the first time she met them – four months pregnant and unable to imbibe. Now, all this time later, she has absolutely no idea how she managed it. And then, with a wry smile, she thinks it’s just like Alec not to introduce her to his family until she was already four months bloody pregnant. Knob.

The entire Hardy clan has not been all together since the wedding several months earlier. Some were present at Daisy’s graduation celebration – Greer they see quite often – but it’s immediately a wild party of sorts.

The baby is being passed around from person to person. Ellie has to keep her wits about her to keep track. But she seems perfectly thrilled to have so much attention lavished on her. She’s out of her separation anxiety phase, so as long as she sees a familiar face now and then, she’s just fine. Fred seems to be bonding with Charlie, Robby’s university-age son, and they have immersed themselves in talk of comics and superheroes. Twelve-year-old Melody clings to her idol, Daisy, and hardly leaves her side. Meanwhile it’s quite clear to Ellie that _Tom_ would like to be the one bonding with Charlie, due to their closeness in age, and he is quite grumpy that his brother has stolen the show.

At some point, Billy shoves a vodka tonic into Ellie’s hand and she receives it gratefully.

Alec glances around until he spots his wife. It’s a good job his shower was able to steam that wrap dress of hers, he’s quite pleased with the way she looks in it. Although he’s generally quite pleased with the way she looks in anything. And nothing.

She spots her in conversation with Emma and Megan and feels grateful that he never has to worry about her with his rambunctious family. She is quite at ease and never seems to consider them a chore. Not even the ex-girlfriend who’d aborted his child at seventeen. Ellie has come to understand Emma in a way he never could.

Supper is buffet-style, there’s too many of them to even consider a table. Ellie forces Fred, however, to sit on the floor at the coffee table and eat, which causes the beginnings of a tantrum. Charlie sits with him and then the boy is happy again.

Alec watches Ellie struggle with a piece of chicken that is slightly too big. She tries to bite it in half but it doesn’t work and she has to struggle through chewing with a very full mouth, all while trying to keep from laughing. Archie comes up beside him and nudges his arm.

“In case I ever forget what a man in love looks like,” Archie laughs. “I’ve got you, haven’t I.”

Alec is mildly embarrassed but it doesn’t last.

Aila is in Megan’s arms but leans forward for Ellie when they approach her. Ellie, who is already holding her plate in one hand, manages to catch Aila and hold her on her hip. She stands there, helpless, laughing.

And then Aila faceplants directly into Ellie’s plate, causing a massive uproar of squeals and laughter. Megan quickly takes the plate from Ellie’s hand, nearly doubling over with cackles.

“Oh my god, little girl,” Ellie gasps. “You are unbelievable! Who made you this way?”

Emma hands Ellie some napkins so she can wipe off Aila’s face. Aila starts shaking her head, grinning.

“Babababababa.”

His Spidey senses tingling, Alec then looks around to find Fred. The boy stares at Ellie and Aila, flush with jealousy, and then looks down at his own plate.

“No, no, no. Fred!” Alec calls from across the room. Fred looks over at him. “Don’t you dare.”

Fred sighs. Foiled again.

Alec looks back at Ellie and Aila to find Ellie smiling at him with pride.

Later, a few drinks in, food mostly put away, Robby is talking to Alec about his new girlfriend Katrina. It’s progress for Robby, after the death of his wife years earlier, but Alec cannot bring himself to be more than loosely interested. By this point, Fred has turned cranky and seems to be whining at Ellie across the room. Tom now has a chance to hang out with Charlie and so the teenager’s mood has turned around while the child’s mood has soured.

He sees Ellie put her drink down and pick Fred up. He hangs on her exhaustedly. She meets Alec’s gaze across the room, and points at Fred then points toward the stairs. Alec nods, then points to the stairs as well. She shakes her head, no. He nods. Then she disappears with Fred.

Aila is doing surprisingly well, possibly thanks to the many naps she got during the long car ride. She is happily enjoying the attention of all the women in the room, showing off her crawling and her ability to pull herself up. Alec is certain she must not yet have said _duck_ around them because there’s no doubt a vociferous uproar would immediately follow.

When Ellie comes back downstairs, another drink is shoved into her hand and she becomes a bit wobbly, and thoroughly amused by herself. Billy is clearly egging her on, no surprise there. This does not thrill Emma. Also no surprise _there_.

Daisy and Megan have moved out onto the porch together, passing a glass of wine back and forth.

“You all right there?” Billy comes up behind him. “Usually by this point you and El’d have snuck off for a snog at least four different times. Not seen you together all night.”

Alec all but rolls his eyes then sips his scotch. “You lot’ve got her otherwise engaged, obviously.”

Aila crawls over to him and sits on his foot. Alec chuckles, hands his glass to Billy, then scoops the baby up.

“How you doin’, wee darlin’?” He asks her. “You knackered yet?”

Aila bounces, happy to be in his arms. “Ah- _da_ -da.”

Alec stares at her, mouth open. “…What was that, lass?”

Aila starts slapping his chest. “Ah- _da-_ da!”

“Uh.” He swallows. “ELLIE.”

Ellie looks over from across the room. She sees the urgency in his eyes and immediately crosses the room to him.

“What? What is it?”

Aila looks at her and smiles, then goes back to slapping Alec’s chest. “Babababa.”

“No, no, not that, darlin’, the other thing. The other thing you just said. You heard it, Billy, didn’t you.”

Billy shrugs. “Sure.” He’s too many sheets to the wind to have really registered Aila’s babbling.

“What?” Ellie asks again.

Aila sticks her fingers in Alec’s mouth. “Ah- _da_ -da.”

“Oh my god.”

“See?”

“Aila, love, are you saying _Dada_?!” Ellie exclaims.

Aila grins as if in confirmation. “Ah- _da-_ da!”

Ellie squeals and throws her hands up in the air. Perhaps if she were sober she’d be a bit miffed that _Dada_ came before _Mumma_ , but she’s too elated to care.

Aila, excited by Ellie’s excitement, leans forward and holds her arms out to her. Ellie takes her and twirls around with her.

“What a good girl, Aila!”

Aila responds by sticking her hand under Ellie’s dress and into her bra, which only makes her parents laugh more. Apparently she feels that her reward is to cop a feel. This is a reward system Alec can comprehend and support.

*

A while later, after everyone has either been ushered out, left of their own reluctant accord, or put in a cab, Ellie sits at the bottom of the staircase, utterly exhausted. Alec closes the front door and locks it.

“Quite an evenin’.”

She yawns. “Uh huh.”

A heavy silence suddenly hangs between them.

“Um.” He shifts his weight back and forth. “I’ll be on the sofa then?”

Ellie looks up. “Ah. Well. Yes, I think so. Just because…you know. It’s too hard if we’re – I think it’s important that we _talk_ before we – “

“I know.” He nods. He hates that she’s right.

“Tomorrow,” she reminds him hopefully.

She grabs onto the banister and pulls herself up to standing. She wobbles a bit.

“Um,” she says. “I’ll just stay down here a minute while you…gather your things.” She clearly does not trust herself to go upstairs with him right now.

“Yeah, all right.” He walks past her onto the stairs.

She hooks her finger into his belt loop as he passes. He stops.

“It’s just one more night,” she tells him.

Without thinking too much about it, he leans down and kisses her. When he pulls away, he smiles, then continues up the stairs.

***


	3. Chapter 3

It’s a relatively lazy morning. The teenagers have a lie in until eleven. Fred explores every nook and cranny of the large house with his action figures, finding new and interesting places to play. Ellie relaxes in the back garden with a few cups of coffee and a book she’s been meaning to read for ages. Alec takes Aila for a long, long walk in her buggy, eager to show her the sights of his childhood, hallmarks of his homeland. She just sits back, kicks her legs happily, and points at things indiscriminately while babbling. As far as Alec is concerned, a perfect morning, and a perfect start to their family holiday. The only thing that could’ve made it better would’ve been a nice, lazy morning shag. He’s hoping he won’t have to wait too long for those to resume.

For lunch, they heat up leftovers from last night’s feast. Ellie remarks that they really ought to find a Tesco and stock up before end of day. Alec really only has one goal for the afternoon and that’s to get his wife back. _All_ of her. Partner and co-parent are both lovely, but they have nothing on best friend and lover. Tesco is the least of his interests.

After lunch, Greer and Angus come to pick up the kids. Megan and Melody have tagged along as well. Ellie and Alec pack a few things for the little ones and check to make sure Aila’s nappy bag is stocked up.

“We’ll bring them back only when you give us the go ahead,” Greer tells Alec surreptitiously.

He’s never been more grateful for his older sister.

Ellie is showering the little ones with hugs and kisses as they are loaded into the car. “There’s some breast milk in her bag if she gets grumpy, but otherwise you can feed her as you will. She has a very odd love for tomatoes and avocado usually shuts her up quick.”

Greer laughs. “We’ll manage, I promise you.”

“She should nap somewhere between two and four if possible,” Ellie continues. “Fred usually gets a bit hangry around three so you’ll want to make sure you have some snacks on hand. If you go for a long drive he’ll likely pass out in the car so that’s always an option if he’s driving you mad.”

Alec puts his hands on Ellie’s shoulders and guides her backwards. “Ellie.”

“Right, sorry. You’ll be fine.” She clasps her hands together and breathes out. “Tom and Daisy can help you with anything you need, they know the score. Thank you _so much_ , all of you, truly.”

Fred pokes his head out the car window. “What are _you_ going to do?”

Alec and Ellie exchange a brief glance.

“Um, you know. Pay some bills, grown up stuff,” she says.

Tom rolls his eyes and yanks Fred down from the window. “They’re going to _shag_ , you dumb-dumb.”

“Tom!” Ellie scolds him.

Alec looks down at his shoes and thinks, _God, I hope so._

Aila waves her hand at Alec (which is mostly just a pointed flexing of the fingers). “A- _da-_ da,” she says, just to make him smile.

He opens the door and smooches her cheek multiple times. “Oh I _love_ you, my sweet lass.”

Ellie waves at them as they drive away. He smirks at her. Awfully dramatic for a few hours away. Perhaps she’s just apprehensive about what’s to come. Not excited like he is. He doesn’t care how difficult their looming conversation is, he just wants her back.

With the cars out of sight, they turn to face each other.

“Well,” Ellie exhales.

He brings a hand to her back and guides her toward the house. “Come on,” he says gently.

Inside, he directs her toward the living room and the sofa. “You sit here.”

She eyes him suspiciously. “Uh huh…”

“Give me just a minute,” he tells her, moving out of the room.

Ellie makes herself comfortable on the sofa, bending her knees and tucking her feet underneath her. She’s wearing green leggings and an oversized, flowy, V-neck tank top. Her cleavage is perhaps a bit too prominent for a serious conversation but there’s little she can do about it as the nursing mother of an infant and she’s given up trying to hide them.

She feels oddly nervous though, shifting around a bit until she forces herself to settle. When Alec returns, it’s with two glasses of scotch and a tin of chocolate biscuits. She actually laughs out loud.

“What is this, are you plying me with liquor and sweets?”

He sets the tin on the coffee table and hands her one of the glasses. “This is forty-year-old scotch I’ll have you know,” he says. “It probably had to be pried from my father’s cold, dead hands.”

“Unbelievable.” Smiling, she shakes her head and takes a sip. “Oh wow.”

He takes one sip. “I know.” He tucks one leg underneath him so that he’s facing her on the sofa. His jeans are loose enough that it’s still comfortable. He is casual and at ease and hoping she’ll soon feel the same way.

“Thanks for arranging all this with Greer.” She takes another sip, then puts her glass down.

“Her idea,” Alec replies.

“You told her then.”

“I…yes, yeah. Needed her to understand that we couldn’t just constantly have family about,” he explains. “That you and I would need time to ourselves.”

She nods, picking at some lint on her leggings.

“Hey,” he says gently. She looks up. “Just want to begin all this by sayin’ I love you.”

She smiles, making the moisture in her eyes visible. “I love you.” She looks away from him again but reaches for his hand. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I let it get this far.”

He feels an immense warmth spread throughout his body, a lightness, a thrill almost. He shakes his head. “It’s not your fault. Good as we are together it’s unreasonable for us to expect that things will never get this hard. That we’ll _always_ be on the same page. There are things beyond our control, circumstances that are bigger than us.”

“I don’t want anything to be bigger than us.”

Alec squeezes her hand, then lifts it to his lips. “’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me. Can we start there?”

“I pushed you away,” Ellie says, cheeks growing pink with embarrassment.

“I should’ve pushed back,” Alec replies. “I should’ve been there anyway. There’s no excuse for not callin’, sendin’ a text, all of that. Case or no case.” He looks down at their hands and rubs her knuckles with his thumb. “Never been any good at compartmentalizin’.”

“No.” She smiles. “You haven’t.”

“But I’m workin’ on it.”

“I know.”

“Especially with the kids…” He trails off. “You’re right about all that, you know. I left so much of it to you, I took for granted that it would all just magically get sorted. Turns out _you’re_ the magic.” He smiles to himself. “Not so surprisin’ really.”

“Frankly I should’ve phoned and harassed you about it.”

“Ellie, you shouldn’t have _had_ to,” he insists.

She shrugs. “You’re right.” She reaches for her scotch again, takes a sip, then puts it back down.

“There’s a lot I need to work on when it comes to…work-life balance.” He hates the phrase. Has always hated the phrase. But that’s exactly what it is. “Bein’ with you has helped so much, our whole…mad little family.” She smiles. “But this has got me realizin’ that there’s no magic fix. I have to keep doin’ the work. I can’t let myself get pulled under with these cases anymore, the work we do is important and oftentimes urgent but it’s never more important than you or the kids …or my health. It’s gonna take me a good while to get all the way there. But I promise you I’ll keep makin’ progress.”

“Thank you,” she says genuinely, squeezing his hand tight. “And let me know how I can help.”

He nods. “I also need to learn how to get on at work without you. We’ll not always be able to work on cases _together_ , you’ll not always be there to keep me in check and to remind me to take care of myself. And it’s not fair for that burden to be solely on you.”

“It’s not a burden,” Ellie replies quietly, looking down at his lap.

“It is. And I’m sorry.”

Ellie takes a deep breath, carefully pulling her hand away and folding both of hers in her lap. He braces himself with another sip of scotch.

“Biscuit?” He says with a hopeful smile.

“Yes please.”

He opens the tin and offers her one.

“My turn,” she says as she takes a bite. “I’m sorry for pushing you away that first night. All that nonsense about you being difficult at hospitals and – that wasn’t fair.”

“Not sure you’re wrong.” He smirks at her.

“Either way. You’re my husband and I always want you with me. Even when you’re a pain in the arse,” she replies, running a hand through her hair. “I often feel like I handle family stress quite well, but I think this…I don’t know, I think this has all brought up all sorts of issues from my mum’s death. The strokes. I was in such a bad place when Mum got ill, coming after everything with Joe and the trial and – you know. I think there’s a lot I never really dealt with, it was all just too much at the time. The idea of losing Dad, of losing Mum _and_ Dad only a few years apart…I didn’t know what to do with all the things I was feeling.”

Alec places a hand on her thigh and rubs it soothingly.

“And then to add on everything with the case…I mean, christ, what timing,” Ellie continues.

“God, I know,” he agrees.

“I understand now why you didn’t want me on the case, I do. Although it turns out that – “

“That you basically solved it, yes, I know.” He smiles.

“That’s right.” She smiles back. “I just wish you’d gone about it differently.”

“Yeah.” He nods. “I do as well. There was no good reason for me to hang you out publicly like that. I think I was just put off by the things you’d said earlier, brooding, but that’s not good enough.”

With her index finger, she draws circle on his hand on her thigh. “I’m also sorry about the, um. Late night…booty call, as they say.”

His eyes widen bit. “You’ve no need to be sorry for that. We both needed it. I think I just didn’t know at the time how serious the difficulties between us _were_ , that was back when I thought we were just having a row born of frustration and stress. So I didn’t think much of a good stress-relievin’ shag. I was glad for it, god knows I enjoyed it.”

“You don’t feel like I was using you?” She asks.

He lets out a short laugh. “No, love. Well, yes. But not…in a bad way, I _want_ you to call me when you need a good goin’ over.” They both chuckle. “And I know you. I knew that was what you needed and I needed it too. I never felt _used_ , I assure you.”

“Good.” She smiles timidly. “For a while I think I just so badly needed us to be on the same page and I was so angry about the fact that we _weren’t_ that I made it worse. I couldn’t bear to talk about it. And I hate, I _hate_ that you were sleeping on the sofa.”

He shakes his head. “El, it’s all right.”

“You do understand why.”

“I do.”

“ _I’d_ have slept on the sofa if you’d have let me,” she says.

“You are the mother of my children, Ellie. I’m never goin’ to let you be the one sleepin’ on the sofa.”

Ellie squints at him. “I want to be flattered but I don’t know what that means.”

He looks down, chuckling. “I don’t either really. I just know that it’s true.”

“Well.” She turns and places her feet on the floor, leaning forward as she takes another sip of her drink. “I know it was a kind of vicious cycle for me. Not talking.”

He nods in agreement. “And it got worse for me with not bein’ able to touch you.”

She smiles and shakes her head. “Awfully predictable, aren’t we.”

He turns and sits up back against the sofa. “I realized in all this that I get most of my energy from you. And my calm. I get what I need from _you_. And when I don’t have you….when I can’t touch you or speak to you or just lay quietly next to you…I lose a good deal of myself,” he explains to her. “And that’s -- I don’t tell you that because it’s your responsibility to give me those things, it’s not your burden to bear. It’s just somethin’ I noticed. Somethin’ I need to stay aware of. In a lot of ways I think we’ve been…livin’ inside each other since we got together. We’ve blended.”

She takes a sip and nods thoughtfully, looking straight ahead.

“I don’t want that to change,” he says quickly. “But perhaps we need to work on tryin’ to stay who we are when the other person’s not around. Bein’ our own…half when the other isn’t there to make us whole.”

She traces the rim of her glass and nods. “That’s a lot to think about.”

“Yeah. It’s just a thought.” He rubs his temple. “If we’re ever again in a situation where I can’t touch you…”

“I know.” She puts her glass down and turns to him. “I know.” She maneuvers onto her knees and takes both of his hands in hers. “We both know that nothing’s ever going to be too much for us, right? Whatever happens, I promise you it will always work out. It may take longer than we’d like it to, it may be absolute anguish, but we’ll always come out the other side. Never let your anxiety convince you otherwise. That’s the most important thing.”

Moisture builds in his eyes when he nods. “Yeah.”

Ellie reaches out to rub his arm then leans forward and kisses his cheek softly. “You and me, babe.” She smiles against his scruff. “We’re the most important thing.”

His lips curve into a smile and she kisses the corner of his mouth. His hand runs up her spine as she moves over him, straddling his lap.

“Hi,” she says quietly, cupping his face in her hands, fingertips raking over his beard.

He places both hands on her thighs. “Hi.”

She touches her forehead to his and closes her eyes. They both breathe in and out.

“You can touch me _now_ …” She whispers.

“Mmm.” Alec slides both hands underneath her top, running them up and down her bare back, pressing his fingertips into her warm skin. His eyes are closed too, breathing her in as her warmth transfers to him. He can already feel himself melding into her.

“Mm-hmm.” She nods, ever so slightly beginning to grind her hips against him.

He lets out an involuntary groan from deep inside him.

“It’s okay, baby.” She captures his bottom lip between hers and continues stroking his cheek.

He slips one hand underneath the back strap of her bra and feels around the indentations to her skin. Her breasts are pressed to his chest, the undulation of her hips already driving him wild. Her kisses begin to deepen, her tongue exploring his mouth and he pulls her impossibly closer, like he’s trying to pull her inside him. He’s hard already, his jeans uncomfortably tight, and he sighs with massive relief as she reaches down and unbuttons his fly, gently yanking down the zipper. She always knows everything he needs.

She’s good and focused on kissing him now, slow, deep, groan-inducing kisses that are so damn sexy he can hardly stand it. She keeps one hand at his neck, the other rubbing his chest through his oxford shirt.

“Ellie,” he breathes out, panting. He worries he might be crying but he doesn’t feel any dampness under his eyes or on his cheeks.

“Shh,” she whispers back, kissing him again. “I’m here, love.”

He buries his face in her chest and just holds her, arms wrapped tightly around her small body. She combs her fingers through his hair soothingly and plants kisses on his ear and his temple. She keeps rocking her hips unconsciously.

“You’ll always have me,” she whispers.

He begins pressing slow, deliberate kisses into her chest and collarbone, gradually making his way down to the “v” of her top. He kisses the tops of her breasts then begins to nudge away the fabric with his nose. After a few moments of this, she reaches for his face and lifts his head. With his dark eyes watching her, she grabs the hem of her top and lifts it over her head, tossing it on the sofa beside them. His expression is one of such childlike wonder and desperation that she can’t resist brushing his hair back from his forehead. Just in time for him to dip his head and mouth at her breasts, doing his best to ignore her simple black bra altogether. He makes hungry little grunting noises that tickle Ellie immensely. He licks her nipple through the satin then reaches to push one of the straps off her shoulder.

“Alec,” she says softly, rubbing his back. “Upstairs, yeah?”

“All alone,” he grumbles back.

She chuckles. “Still. Be much more comfortable upstairs.” He grunts his displeasure. “You can play with my tits as much as you like without worrying about the neighbours and the open window…”

She turns her head to the large front room window not ten metres from them. He sighs into her skin. “Fine.”

Ellie crawls off his lap, taking his hands and then pulling him up with her. He starts pushing her out of the room when she stops suddenly.

“Oh, hang on, hang on!” She grabs a chocolate biscuit out of the tin and immediately bites a piece off.

Alec shakes his head at her, then pulls her back into him. “I love you.” He starts kissing her neck as they move toward the staircase.

He drags her up the stairs as she laughingly tries to finish eating her biscuit. Inside their temporary bedroom, she closes the door behind her and leans against it, trying not to smirk as she finishes chewing. He shakes his head at her.

“Unbelievable.”

“You love me,” she reminds him, swallowing the last of it.

He places his hands on his hips and, half-smiling, looks her up and down. She, standing there in her bra and leggings, suddenly gives in to a fit of giggles.

“What.”

“You,” she replies, allowing the smirk to take over. “Just standing there judging me, your cock hard as a rock.”

He looks down. Then back up again, red in the cheeks. “Well you’re bloody topless over there, what d’you expect.”

Ellie grins. “Take your trousers off.”

He does, letting them fall to the floor, then stepping out of them and toward her. He pins her there against the door, his body pressed to hers.

“Taste like chocolate,” he mutters after he kisses her.

She narrows her eyes. “You taste like scotch, what of it.”

He kisses her again, his hands roaming her body until they delve into her leggings to cup her arse. They lose themselves there for a while, content simply to taste each other and feel the heat of their bodies rising.

“Do love you,” he breathes into her neck. His cock is now painfully restricted by his briefs and pressing into her insistently. “Christ, I love you so much.”

“I feel it,” she replies, parting her thighs a bit so he can rub up against her.

She holds him as he loses himself grinding into her and sucking a mark into her neck. His soft whimpering demands that she simply give herself over to him, however he wants her. But soon she becomes afraid he’ll expend himself right then and there so she grabs into the flesh of his hips and stills him.

“Bed, love,” she whispers.

“Right.”

How innocent, desperate, and pliable he can become sometimes, when his need for her outweighs all rational thought and understanding. He becomes putty in her hands at times, his mind becomes submerged in his all-encompassing love for her while his body tries to become part of hers.

Ellie pulls her leggings off as she flops down onto the bed. Then, in her underthings, she crawls back to the middle of the mattress. He follows, kneeling over her, and she pulls off his shirt.

Alec has a brief moment of thinking about how nice it is to even occupy the same bed as her again. He smiles, briefly overwhelmed by relief and happiness, then lies beside her. He props himself up with one arm and with the other, reaches behind her to unclasp her bra.

“Ah, _this_ is what you’ve missed, eh.” She helps him extricate the straps then tosses the garment away. He stares happily at her breasts as if they’ve been an ocean away for years and years. She snorts. “You’re hopeless.”

“Hopeless for _you_.” His eyes flicker and he flashes her a boyish smile. Then they return to her breasts. “And for them.”

Ellie rolls her eyes. “Oh go on then.”

He licks her nipple then moves over her. He takes one breast in his mouth as his hand plays with the other. He cannot bear to leave one untouched. He pinches one nipple and sucks on the other until Ellie starts making unbearable whimpering noises that make his cock leak madly. Her nails dig into his back and oh how he’s missed the sensation. He associates the mild pain with knowing he’s doing something so right. Meanwhile he’s happier than a little boy at a fun fair, lavishing her breasts with devoted attention. His brain briefly reminds him of a time before they were together, when at work he’d gather up all the energy he had to keep from staring at her tits, to refrain from imagining unbuttoning her blouses, which were invariably just too tight in that area, from staring until he could _just_ make out the shape and fabric of her bra underneath. What a miserable time. How lucky is he now.

“Alec.”

Her voice startles him from his joyous reverie.

“You going to do anything else, or – “

He raises his head to look at her, hair mussed and cheeks flushed. “Said I could play with them all I wanted.”

She lets out a laugh. “ _Within reason._ ”

“What’s reason?”

“Argh.” She grabs his hand and pushes it into her knickers, where she is good and wet.

“ _Ah_ ,” he gasps.

“That’s right, _ah_.”

“Right, then.” He repositions himself and peels down her knickers. Then he spends far too long, for her liking, kissing her stomach and biting marks into the flesh below her belly button. “Steady on, lass,” he murmurs as she begins to squirm restlessly. “’ll take care of you.”

Ellie bites her lip and nods impatiently. He kisses the inside of her thigh starting from her knee. Then with a pleased little groan he settles between her thighs, swinging one leg over his shoulder. Just the tip of his tongue on her clit has her letting out a cry of wanton desperation and he grins. He delves into her folds without urgency, she’s insistent enough for the both of them, and he takes his time, licking and folding his tongue, sucking her clit whenever her whimpers become impossible to ignore. When he wants to make her come, he searches for her hand so she can squeeze it, and she knows it’s coming. Pun intended. Her cries are wild and unfiltered, the joys of an empty house. He rubs his cock against the mattress and sucks on her clit until he thinks perhaps she’s come twice.

“Oh god.” She pulls his hair with her free hand to stop him. He looks up with a smug little grin on his face. “Don’t you look at me like that.”

Alec slowly kisses his way from her cunt up between her breasts, dragging his tongue most of the way so that when he kisses her lips she tastes less of herself.

“Better?” He kisses her lips again.

“Mm.” She keeps her eyes closed and smiles contentedly.

“Good.” He wants to ravish her, taste every inch of her skin, contemplate crawling inside her. And he can’t do that when she’s riled up and too aroused to be patient with him. “As you were.”

In the gorgeous haze of orgasm, she lies quite calmly where she is while he kisses from her palm to her elbow, then drag his tongue up to her shoulder. He bites and licks and sucks his way across her collarbone to the other side, then takes his time leaving a mark on her neck. She occasionally moans softly and runs her fingers through his hair, tangles their legs together. With a hungry growl, Alec returns to her breasts. He sucks on her nipple until her milk comes in and then sucks a little longer. When he’s sated, he lays his head beneath her breasts and allows himself to be lulled by her breathing, all the while stroking her thigh with his hand. He feels calm and at peace though his cock is throbbing between his legs.

She’s massaging the scruff at the back of his neck when she says, “…brought the condoms, right.”

He’s forgotten all about them, but yes, he’s brought them. “Ah, right.” He reluctantly lifts himself off her.

Propped up on her elbows, she watches him dig through his suitcase. “Grab one of the mutual pleasure ones so you’ll last longer.”

He could be offended by that but he chooses not to be because she’s right. After eleven days of not touching, and now having been hard for her a good while, he isn’t likely to attempt heroics.

While he fumbles around looking for the right condom – prompting her to ask, “How many did you _bring_?” – she pulls back the sheets and covers on the bed then lays tantalizingly on her side, one knee bent and swaying. He watches her as he discards his briefs and then, sitting on his knees between her legs, he rolls the condom on. When, oh when, is that vasectomy finally going to pay off.

She opens her arms to him, beckoning him to her. He hovers over her and slowly pushes into her, both of them gasping with relief and pleasure.

“Christ,” he mutters, settling himself atop her.

Her fingertips dance over his shoulders and she lets out a sigh. She’s a lovely pink, her skin glistening from sweat and the trails left by his tongue. He feels a hand slide down to his arse and squeeze it and he dips his head to kiss her, slow and deep. Then she’s smiling and he’s touching her cheek.

“Oh, my love,” he says, softly, almost unconsciously.

She closes her eyes and nods, a signal for him to begin moving inside her. He buries his face in her neck and she whispers _I love you_ in his ear before kissing it. He sucks on her pulse point, still tender from his earlier ministrations, but she doesn’t complain. She’s widening her thighs, raising her hips slightly to meet him, helping him go deeper.

It’s slow and measured between them, a savoring, a melding of skin. All she wants is to be kissed, she’s so hungry for more and more intimacy still. They smile at each other when they realize they’re breathing in time with one another. Her little gasps and whimpers are so beautiful to him. He nips at her bottom lip and holds it between his teeth. Then he pushes so deep inside her that he has to release it when she cries out. He has a slight urge to roll them over and pull her on top of him but where they are is so perfect, so gorgeous and effortless, they’ve managed an ecstasy more from the ease of joining their bodies than from friction. He just wants to enjoy it, live inside it. And then tonight, after all the kids have gone to bed and they’re alone in the dark he’ll make her scream. He’ll take her from behind, from the side, let her ride him until he can’t see straight. But now, he only wants to be a part of her, to move with her, breathe with her, hold her. And she seems more than satisfied with this.

He squeezes her thigh and kisses her. “Bit quicker now, yeah?”

She responds by wrapping her legs around his waist and hooking her ankles together.

“Need to come soon,” he says hoarsely, beginning to quicken the pace.

She nods. “Uh huh.” She holds his face in her hands and kisses him deeply, whimpering throughout.

Then he kisses the side of her nose and whispers, “Open your eyes, El.”

He wants to see her eyes when he comes. When she comes. They stay together, he moves a hand between them to help push her over with him. She cries out his name, something she doesn’t normally do quite enough for his liking, and then grits her teeth, wild moans escaping her anyway. Her name is a gasp on his lips as he thrusts hard and comes harder.

“You’re so good,” he mutters into her neck, slowing his movements and finding his breath. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Oh, fuck.” She turns her head to the side, breathing deeply then sighing out.

His mouth plants wet, messy kisses across her chest before he pulls out of her and moves to lie at her side. He removes the condom and ties it up.

“Fuck, I missed that,” she admits. “I missed _you_.”

Ellie rolls over and clings to him, throwing one leg over his torso and kissing his chest. He throws an arm around her and kisses the top of her head.

“We are very good at that,” he says.

She chuckles softly.

He smiles too. “We’ve no right to be as good as we are.”

“Oh I think we’ve _every_ right,” she argues, playing with his chest hair. “We work hard, we deserve wild, orgasmic afternoons to ourselves.”

“Right you are then.”

“I’m so happy we’ve patched this up,” Ellie tells him with a dreamy sigh. “I hate sleeping without you.”

“I hate wakin’ up without you.”

“Let’s always get along,” she adds wistfully.

He snorts. “Yeah, that’ll do us about three hours.” She pinches him and he flinches. “ _Ow_.”

“Wanker.”

“Oi, ten seconds then.”

She pinches him again. This time he retaliates by pinching her arse.

“Ow!”

Alec rolls onto his side and kisses her frowny face. She wraps her arms around him. His hand travels back and forth from her neck to her arse and back again.

“Now we’ve got an actual holiday to plan,” Ellie says against his lips.

He responds with a questioning noise.

“Well we’ll not just sit around this house for two weeks. We said we’d drive up to Inverness then ‘round Aberdeen down to Edinburgh. Give the kids a proper tour.”

Alec looks back at her sheepishly. “Bit much for Aila and Fred.”

She frowns back. “They’ll be fine, we’ll infect them with the travel bug.”

“Fred and Tom need to be separated on the drives then.”

Ellie purses her lips stubbornly then sighs. “Fine. We’ll be here the first few days at least so we’ll need to pop ‘round Tesco.”

“Ellie.” He tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. “Can we not just live in this a few more minutes?”

She softens, tracing the contours of his face with her index finger. “More than a few if you fancy.”

He grabs onto her hand and kisses her palm. “Have to be certain we keep findin’ time for _us_ on this holiday.”

“Four kids, no childminders, good luck to us.”

He strokes her neck with the back of his hand. “We’ll pay Tom and Daiz actual money to babysit.”

“ _Oh_ now that’s an idea, though they’ll drive us a hard bargain, mind you,” Ellie replies with a laugh.

“Worth it.” He kisses her.

She smiles. “Yes.”

Then with a rakish grin he suddenly rolls on top of her. “Another go?”

Ellie laughs, then regards him skeptically. “You haven’t got round two in you yet.”

“No, but I’ve got lips and a tongue.” He kisses the corner of her mouth. “And exceptionally agile fingers, your words.”

She raises an intrigued eyebrow. “So you do.” She pats his chest, hand over his pacemaker scar. “Thank god for modern medicine, eh?”

He slides his hand down between her legs. “Among other things.”

***


	4. Chapter 4

The kids were allowed to return at 6pm. By then, Ellie had achieved another two orgasms and Alec another one. They didn’t want to be _greedy_ , after all. Following a quick run to Tesco – and remarking that they cannot remember a time they’ve ever gone grocery shopping _together_ – Ellie texts Greer that the coast is clear.

The entire brood, save for Aila, is roped into helping with supper. A large buffet of traditional Scottish dishes that remind Alec of his childhood. Aila sits in her highchair and happily watches them all move about the kitchen, running into each other, knocking things about, and occasionally cursing. It’s prime entertainment for the ten-month-old.

After supper, there’s an impromptu football match out back. Ellie runs around with Aila on her hip, insisting that this will be her exercise for the day. “Plenty of exercise _earlier_ ,” Alec remarks slyly as he kicks the ball past her. Aila laughs and laughs as she gets jostled around, and then suddenly she’s had enough and she cries. They pack it in, then put Aila to bed.

The only film they all consent to watching is the latest Pixar, _Onward_. Fred giggles infectiously throughout, causing Ellie and Alec to grin at each other. Eventually Ellie cannot help tackling her younger son in a tickle hug, murmuring about how he’s “so cute I just want to _bite_ you.” Fred laughs even more.

Late in the evening, when everyone has retired to their individual rooms, Ellie lies in bed on her stomach as Alec moves inside her, slowly then urgently, biting into her shoulder blade when he comes. She can feel a bruise forming almost immediately after. When _she_ comes, she pulls so hard at her own hair that she finds a small clump of it in her fist when he pulls out of her.

“I love not fighting,” she says with a sigh, hugging him from behind once he’s settled onto his side.

“Not fightin’ is amazin’,” he agrees, leaning back into her. “Although I must say the makeup sex is unparalleled.”

“Truly astonishing, yes.” She kisses the back of his neck.

“Just need to learn how to skip straight to that.” He tangles his fingers with hers then lets out a dramatic exhale. “God I love havin’ sex with you.”

Ellie laughs out loud. “Bit on the nose.”

“Don’t care,” Alec mutters back. “Want to shag you every day ‘til I die.”

“Or I die.”

He scoffs loudly. “Absolutely no chance you’re goin’ first.”

“Can’t know that.” She nuzzles into his hair.

“I’m older and sicker. And a man. So, statistically – “

She bites into his neck. “Statistics don’t mean a bloody thing when you get hit by a lorry.”

Alec turns around in her arms. “You hush your gorgeous mouth now. Or I’ll do it for you.” He kisses her.

“Go to sleep,” she says with a pout. “We’ve shagged like six times today already. Possibly a record.”

“No.” He shakes his head then goes for her lips again.

“When?!”

“Eh, roughly three weeks in, I believe,” he replies, rearranging them so that he’s lying on her chest, head tucked underneath her chin. “Daisy was in Sandbrook, Tom was…possibly campin’, Fred with Beth. We shagged all bloody day long, do you not remember?”

“Oh, bloody hell.” Her eyes glaze over at the memory. “At yours, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. Did it in every room but Daisy’s I reckon. Nearly a full twelve hours to ourselves.”

“Ah, the early days,” Ellie sighs.

“Sod the early days,” Alec scoffs. “We’re just as good now and better. I could make you come in under thirty seconds if I wanted to.”

Ellie pinches him.

“Oi with the pinchin’ again, woman.”

She gently caresses the same spot she’s just pinched. “Go to sleep now.”

“I’m sweaty,” he protests, but snuggles her closer. “You’re not nearly as.”

“Yeah. S’pose you did do most of the work this ‘round, eh,” Ellie agrees.

“Mm.” He plants a kiss on her clavicle.

“Me on top next time,” she promises him.

“And when is that.” He glances up at her through ruffled hair.

“The rate we’re going, first thing in the morning.”

He smiles and tucks his head under her chin again, already keen to imagine tomorrow’s adventures. “We’re really goin’ to manage a sex holiday even with four kids in tow, aren’t we.”

“I should think so,” Ellie agrees heartily, rubbing his back. “We’re quite practiced.”

“Poor kids.”

Ellie snorts. “Yes, poor, poor kids on their all-expenses paid two week holiday to one of the most beautiful countries on earth.”

Alec sighs. “…It is, isn’t it.”

Ellie finds herself grinning. Any wistful acknowledgment that Scotland is his beloved homeland brings her an oddly specific warmth inside. “Yes, love.” She kisses the top of his head. “Sleep now. We’ll get sweaty again in the morning, save your shower for then.”

He nods against her chest. She can tell he’s already drifting. “Mmkay.”

*

They get an oh so restful three hours of sleep before the baby monitor starts crackling. Aila’s plaintive cries fill the room loudly enough they’d think she was in there with them. Alec and Ellie both stir, extricating their limbs from one another, and blink at each other through bleary eyes.

Aila is not much of a scream crier. When she wakes up in the night, it’s usually a bit of whining or simply babbling and idle chatter. _This_ is very nearly blood-curdling. They share a look of surprise and terror before scrambling out of bed. They pull on their dressing gowns, respectively, then go running into Aila’s room.

The baby is lying on her back, limbs flailing, red-faced and covered with tears. Ellie switches the light on and Alec goes to her immediately. He tries to get a good look at her but she immediately hides her face in his chest, clinging to him desperately.

Ellie feels the mattress of her portable playpen-turned-crib. “Covered in sweat,” she says.

“She’s definitely warm.” Alec feels her all over. “Come on, lass, look at Daddy now, let’s have a gander.”

Ellie rubs her back as Alec tips her a bit until she looks up. She feels her forehead. “Oh, yeah. Bit of a fever there, I think."

Alec looks at her, panic-stricken.

“It’s all right,” she coos, and it’s unclear whether it’s to her husband or to the baby.

Aila, upon fully recognizing her mother’s presence, quickly holds her arms out to her and starts launching in her direction. Alec looks a bit miffed. Aila paws at Ellie’s dressing gown until she’s able to access her breast. Ellie cradles her there then looks at Alec.

“Relax, love. She’s feeling poorly, all she’ll want to do is nurse or have some bloody connection to _these_.” She grabs her unoccupied breast. “It’s not personal.”

He nods curtly. “What do we do.”

Ellie seems oddly relaxed, he thinks. His own adrenaline has shot through the roof and he feels like he does at work when they get a shout about a murder.

“Well, she’ll nurse for a few minutes, probably not too long since I doubt she’s actually hungry,” Ellie replies. “I’ll change her clothes, get her into something dry and breathable. You go change the sheets on our bed. She’ll sleep with us tonight.”

“And then – “

“Go change the sheets,” Ellie says calmly but firmly. “One thing at a time.”

“Right.” He nods, looks around helplessly, then runs off.

*

Alec has just finished remaking the bed when Ellie enters with Aila cradled in her arms. He can’t help but marvel at how much smaller she seems, like the tiny infant she was only a few months ago. How on earth do they grow so quickly? He’s barely blinked.

“All right, we need to find the thermometer.”

He stares at her, stricken. “Did we bring one?!”

“Should be one in her nappy bag, there usually is.”

Ellie sits on the bed with the baby, leaning back against the headboard. Aila is whining a bit, little groans and moans, protestations of her current condition. But she’s fairly calm now, safe and protected in her mother’s arms.

Alec digs through the bag a bit manically until he finds it.

“Good. Give it here. You go get us a cool, damp cloth.”

Again, he blinks at her, then springs into action. Ellie sticks the thermometer up under Aila’s arm and holds her still, cooing softly at her. It beeps as Alec returns to the room.

“38.4,” Ellie says. “All right.”

“We need to ring the doctor,” Alec says urgently. “Should we – do we phone Dr. Brady or do we – do we need to phone someone in Glasgow? No, phone Dr. Brady first, yeah?”

“Alec.” Her eyes are cool and steady. “Take a breath, love. She’s barely two degrees above normal and she’s no other obvious symptoms. Likely just her body fighting off an infection.”

“Still, we should phone.”

He’s standing at the foot of the bed with his hands on his hips.

“We’ll phone in the morning if there’s anything alarming.”

“She’s got a bloody fever, El, it _is_ alarmin’.”

She smiles, though a bit exhaustedly. “Sweetheart. She’s all right, look at her. She’s calm now. She’ll sleep with us, we’ll know instantly if something’s gone wrong.”

Alec hesitates a moment, then goes to sit on the edge of the bed beside them. He gently dabs the baby with the cool wet cloth.

“There you are.” Ellie smiles at him.

“Sorry. It’s been – you know. Good while since I’ve seen to a poorly baby.”

“I know,” she replies. “We’re bloody lucky she’s gone ten months without getting properly ill. All through the winter, too. Of course she’d get a bloody _summer_ cold or something.”

They trade the baby off as each one of them changes into their pyjamas – a slip of a nightgown for Ellie and boxers only for Alec. Then they crawl into bed, placing a drowsy Aila between them.

Predictably, as Aila begins to doze – still grumbling and moaning half-heartedly – her parents lie on their sides and stare at her, rapt attention paid to every blink and flinch.

“Christ, she’s gorgeous,” Alec says, as if he still cannot believe it. “Look at her. Look at her skin. Her wispy wee hairs.”

Ellie grins down at the baby. “Bloody precious little fingers and toes, unbelievable. Truly a work of art, this child.”

“Never really understood the whole notion of wantin’ to eat babies up, that whole thing, not ‘til her,” he adds. “She’s _delicious_ , I _do_ want to gobble her up.”

“Chubby little legs,” Ellie agrees. “And those _cheeks_.”

He drags his eyes up from the baby to look at Ellie. “How on earth did we manage to make a person this magical?”

“Impromptu shag on top of the sink in the downstairs loo,” she replies matter-of-factly.

“Best shag of my life,” Alec replies.

“Was it?”

“Well, it gave us _her_.”

“Yes.”

The memory lulls them to sleep.

*

In the morning, Ellie wakes at about 7am in an empty bed. She runs through a quick shower, realizing she doesn’t know when she’ll next have the opportunity, and pulls on some comfy clothing. She finds Alec standing in the middle of the living room swaying back and forth with Aila laying atop his chest.

“Morning,” she greets him. “How’s the patient?”

Aila is awake, staring off, exhausted by her own illness. She holds a fistful of Alec’s shirt.

“Fever down by half a degree as of twenty minutes ago,” he replies. “But she’s still quite warm.”

Ellie feels her forehead and strokes her thin dark hair, now nearly covering her eyes. “Oh my sweet bug.”

With a slight whine, Aila lurches out for Ellie, who takes her and sits down on the sofa to nurse. Alec stands where he is, arms no empty, unsure what to do. He runs a hand through his hair.

“Gave her a bottle nearly an hour ago,” he tells her. “She drank about half. She’s been fussin’ a bit but mostly quiet.”

“Notice any other symptoms?”

He shakes his head. “No.”

“That’s all right. That’s good.” She strokes Aila’s cheeks as she nurses. “Fever’s going in the right direction. If it were serious she’d likely be inconsolable.”

Alec looks down at his feet, pained. “Can’t stand seein’ her like this. Heart can’t take it.”

Ellie offers him a small smile. “That’s what the pacemaker is for.”

“She’s not smiled once all mornin’.”

“She’s only been awake, what, an hour and thirty minutes?” Ellie counters.

“Yes but this is _our baby_ we’re talkin’ about. She’s a smiley wee thing.”

Ellie looks down at Aila, who is looking up at her with big brown albeit sad eyes. “She’s allowed a day off now and then. It’s all right, little love, isn’t it. You can pout all you like when you feel poorly.” Then she looks over at Alec. “The calmer you are, the calmer she’ll be. Try to relax a bit. Go make us a cuppa, will you?”

With reluctance, he does as he’s told. He knows she’s right. She invariably is. Before Aila was born, it had been seventeen years since he’d taken care of a baby properly. Things have changed now, he knows. Sometimes he forgets it’s only been a few years since _Fred_ was a baby. Ellie is much more keyed into these things. It’s instinctive for her. She doesn’t worry. He envies her sense of calm.

He returns a few minutes later with two mugs of tea, Ellie’s slightly less strong. He sets them down on the coffee table and sits beside her. He stares at Aila as if she’s about to springboard herself out of Ellie’s arms across the room.

“I think you’ll need to take the kids out on your own today,” Ellie tells him, eyes focused on Aila, still nursing. “I’ll stay in with her.”

Alec blinks at her. “Go out without you?”

Ellie lets out a chuckle. “It’s not _unheard of_.”

“Prefer to be here in case she needs anythin’.”

She smiles and pats his thigh. “I’ve got her. You go on and give the kids the grand tour of Glasgow. They didn’t get one last time, for the wedding. We can’t keep them cooped up in the house all day just because Aila’s a bit poorly, you’ve got to take them out. Preferably to a park at some point so Fred can run 'round or he’ll go mad.”

Though hesitant at first to leave the baby, Alec soon realizes that the idea of an entire day with the three older kids to himself is an opportunity he’s never really had before. Within less than an hour, he’s making a massive breakfast then waking them all up in fine Dad form. Though at first they are groggy and cranky, a full English breakfast perks them up and in short order they are dressed and ready to go.

Fred is positively _thrilled_ at the idea of an entire day without his baby sister. A whole day with his dad and cool older siblings? This is the holiday Fred always wanted.

“Bye, Mumma! Bye!” He is calling out, long before they are actually ready to go, so eager is he to get started.

Alec kisses Ellie goodbye on their way out the door. It occurs to him how infrequently he kisses her goodbye. He so rarely _has_ to. They are always together, or due to be together in short order, every single day. It’s sort of nice. He kisses her a second time.

“Have fun, my loves!” Ellie calls out after them as they load into the car. “Send photos!”

Then Aila starts crying and she disappears back into the house.

*

Alec decides to give his children a true tourist experience. Later on, he’ll introduce them to some of his old haunts and teach them what it means to be a genuine Glaswegian. But for now, the basics will do.

He starts by taking them on the mural trail in the City Centre, which fascinates Daisy. She has an artistic side she rarely allows to peek through and Alec enjoys watching her expose it. Fred hops along the cobblestone excitedly, pointing and staring. Then they visit the Provand’s Lordship and Alec is thrilled to find Tom more interested than expected. More and more he’s been showing a vague propensity toward history and here he reads every plaque and sign. Fred mostly just runs around. They visit City Chambers, where Fred is told to be quiet as a church mouse. Until he discovers a space where his voice echoes and he has to be bribed with the promise of chocolate in order to be silenced.

They have a late lunch at the Corinthian, where Alec has not been in ages. Then the performance at the Kinetic Theatre absolutely blows _all_ of their minds and is perhaps the one aspect of the trip enthusiastically enjoyed by all. Fred can barely contain himself, though he does hold tight onto Alec throughout the entire thing, as nervous as he is excited.

Daisy is in charge of texting photos to Ellie throughout the day. Alec texts her regularly to see about Aila. She spends most of the day in bed with the baby, who drifts in and out of sleep. It’s almost as if she’s an infant again. Their whole day is sleeping, eating, and occasionally crying. Ellie manages a shower at some point in the afternoon while Aila sleeps and eventually gets dressed too. Aila watches a bit of _Bake Off_ with her on Netflix, both seem to find the program equally soothing.

When the rest of her family returns, Alec finds her on the sofa, half-asleep with her tits out, Aila clearly having fallen asleep nursing. He, too, has a flashbacks to Aila’s early infancy. He shoos the kids upstairs, telling them to wash up and, in Fred’s case, hop in the shower.

“El.”

He sits beside her and gently buttons up her top as she returns to full consciousness. Aila stays soundly asleep.

“Hi.” She rubs her eyes. “Time is it?”

“Gone five,” he replies.

“I did shower, I promise you.”

Alec chuckles. He helps her to carefully transfer the sleeping baby into his arms. “Looks much better.”

“Mm.” Ellie nods. “Fever’s gone down. Just about normal now.”

“Have you had an awful day?” He grimaces at her.

“Nah. Just a lazy day with my girl.” She lays against his shoulder and curls up a bit. “Sorry to have missed out on all the fun though. Want to hear all about it.”

He kisses the top of her head. “I’ll get you a glass of wine and you can be my sous chef for supper.”

“No wine,” Ellie replies sadly. “She’s big on the nursing today.”

“Bloody needy babies.” He cradles Aila close. “Relief to see her colour’s gone back to normal though, isn’t it.”

Aila’s eyelids flutter and then her big brown eyes lock with his. She yawns her cute little baby yawn and then smiles at him.

“A- _da_ -da,” she squeaks out happily, reaching up to grab at his beard.

For the briefest of moments Alec feels like he could _weep_ with relief and gratitude. He kisses Aila’s tiny hand then holds it.

“Ababababa.”

“There she is,” Ellie coos. “Her normal chatty self.” She grabs Aila’s foot and squeezes it. “Always want to impress Daddy, don’t you, little girl.”

“Ba.”

Ellie kisses her foot, then looks at Alec. “Feel better now?”

“Much.” He glances down at Aila. “Don’t like it when my wee lass is unhappy. Don’t like it one bit.”

Ellie reaches for his face and kisses his cheek fervently.

“Dadadadadadada,” Aila adds helpfully.

“She might take a bottle from you since she’s currently fawning over you in hopeless adoration,” Ellie says. “There’s some breast milk in the fridge if you wanna have a go. Then perhaps I can manage a glass.”

Aila, as it turns out, is more than happy to stay in her father’s arms and be fed a bottle by him. She stares at him wide-eyed, scratching at his bearded chin.

“Ah, my sweet lass,” Alec says quietly, stroking her hair. “Showed that fever what’s what, didn’t you. From the strong place, you are. Just like your mum. You never get ill, not truly. And thank god.”

*

A slightly chaotic and wildly chatty supper follows. The kids are eager to share the details of their day with Ellie, who eats it all up, albeit with mild jealousy and FOMO. They all take a long walk after supper as the sun sets, walking off their hearty meal. After Aila goes to sleep, the rest of them curl up on the sofa with a film, too exhausted to contemplate much of anything else.

Alec and Ellie are washed up and in bed by 10pm. They themselves can hardly believe it.

After a bit of sweet-talking and determined shoulder-kissing, Alec convinces her that their sex holiday has not been lost. Lying on their sides, he moves inside her from behind, a hand on her hip holding her against him. She’s quiet. Spent from the day but nearly reenergized by what he evokes in her. She rubs her own clit and the visual causes Alec to come much faster than he’d have liked. So he takes over her for, sliding down her body and settling between her legs, his tongue replacing her hand.

He takes his time. She’s feeling calm and lazy, writhing sleepily, not manically. He tries out a new move, a combination that came to him in his sleep last night before they were woken by a feverish baby. She is both shocked and pleased.

“Mm, good,” she murmurs. “Keep practicing.”

She’s impossible.

When he finally makes her come, she pulls a pillow over her face to muffle the sound of her cries. Afterwards he switches off the light and holds her from behind, lips pressed to her shoulder.

“Inverness tomorrow,” she reminds him in the dark.

He groans a bit. He’ll be glad when they get there, but the idea of packing again and loading up the car, of driving with their little monsters...it’s much less appealing to him than the idea of staying in Glasgow and relaxing.

“Right,” he says.

“I wish we could manage one car.”

He nods into her shoulder. And then, after a beat, “We’re not gettin’ a minivan.”

“Christ, no. One of those SUVs maybe, with the third row in the back.”

He sighs. “Discuss it when we get back to Broadchurch, eh.”

“Fine.”

“I love you,” she says, and he can hear the smile in her voice.

“Mm.” He kisses her shoulder. “Love you.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately it seems the writing is going even slower than expected. I'm a bit swamped at the moment, but I promise never to leave you hanging. Sorry if this chapter feels a bit disjointed - I feel a bit disjointed myself!
> 
> Thanks for reading, as always. xx


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. Met my deadline! Hope I haven't lost you in the interim. And hope you're all well.

Of all of them, the baby is the most excited.

Granted, she is not a fan of her car seat. Whenever she’s strapped into it, she protests and squirms. Too independent to be literally held down. But then once one or both of her parents gets into the front seat, she starts kicking her legs happily. Sometimes even clapping her hands. And when the car starts moving, she chatters away to herself while looking out the window. She’s an adventure baby, Ellie says. An explorer.

Tom and Daisy would just as soon stay where they are. To them, holidays are about having a lie-in every morning and eating junk food. They don’t need to be explorers for that.

Fred is more or less indifferent. Give him an iPad and snacks, he’s good to go. His only wish is that he did not have to sit beside his baby sister.

Aila is singing nonsense as they approach the Highlands. There’s a song faintly playing on the radio, but she’s made up her own tune and her own words, too. It’s a lot of _ayayayaya_ and _babababba_ with the occasional _mmmmmaaaaaa_. Fred is not amused.

“Make her stop, Mumma!”

Ellie snorts from the passenger seat. “She’s a _baby_ , Freddie, what do you want me to do?”

Fred looks to Alec behind the wheel. “Daddy, make her stop!”

“Just put your headphones on, lad.”

Fred simply frowns, then digs around for his headphones, plugs them into the iPad, and puts them on.

Aila smiles innocently at her parents. “Abababababa.”

“Right you are, little bug,” Ellie says. “Let it all out. Mummy and Daddy will be your captive audience.”

Alec briefly glances over at his wife. “Is it possible we’ve somehow created an artistic child?”

“Not a bit of it in her blood,” she replies.

“Classic youngest child rebel complex.” He sighs. “In seventeen years she’ll be beggin’ to go to _art school_ , of all things.”

“The horror,” Ellie laughs.

*

“Daddy, are we gonna see the monster?” Fred asks as they draw closer to their destination.

Alec smirks at him through the rear view mirror. “What, ole Nessie?”

“I wanna see her.”

Ellie gives her husband a warning look. Which he predictably ignores.

“Course, lad,” he replies. “First thing in the mornin’, we’ll drive out to Loch Ness.”

“Lake Loch Ness,” Fred corrects him.

“Loch _means_ lake,” Alec tells him.

“Lake Ness.”

“Sure.”

Smiling, Ellie reaches for Alec’s hand and tangles their fingers together.

After a brief pause, Fred looks up again hopefully and asks, “Does the monster eat babies?”

*

Their Airbnb in Inverness was perhaps booked too hastily. Tom and Fred have to share a room. Daisy gets a room to herself, because it’s too small to accommodate Aila’s crib. The crib is set up in the master bedroom, all of three metres from the full size bed. Following an afternoon of sightseeing and a large dinner out, the children all retire to their rooms before keeling over in exhaustion. Loath to wake Aila up, Ellie and Alec sit on the sofa in the cramped living room.

“We don’t even have any wine,” Ellie complains. “We planned this rather poorly I think.”

“So much for our shaggin’ holiday,” Alec adds, glancing up in the direction of the baby-occupied bedroom.

She sighs, leaning back against the sofa and staring straight ahead, her hands folded in her lap. Then suddenly her eyes light up.

“Might have a solution for that.”

Within two minutes, Ellie is tossing the baby monitor into the backseat of the car the nudging Alec into the passenger seat. Then she wriggles out of her knickers, hikes up her dress, and straddles him as she closes the car door. It’s pitch dark, dead quiet, and about as private as their bedroom would be.

“Well done, Mrs. Hardy,” Alec praises in ingenuity while sliding his hands up her thighs. “Thank christ you wore a dress to dinner.”

She swiftly unbuckles his trousers and kisses him hard. “Thank christ you’re always up for a shag.”

He kneads the back of her thighs. “Only with you.”

She yanks down his trousers and briefs and he raises his hips for her. “Bloody well better be only with me.”

Ellie takes him in hand and he lets out a deep groan all the way from the back of his throat. “Jesus,” he chokes out. “What would I want with anyone else.”

Her tongue teases his lips as she strokes him until he’s basically his own lubricant. He’s writhing desperately underneath her.

“Only you,” he whispers through wracked sighs.

She grins seductively. “That’s right.”

“My Ellie.”

“Mm…” She kisses him languidly and guides him inside her, settling on his lap. “Again.”

He huffs out a breath then kisses her neck. “My.” Then kisses her collarbone. “Ellie.” His lips brush over her throat. “My wife.” He pulls the sleeves of her dress over her shoulders and down her arms until she escapes them. “ _Only my_ wife,” he murmurs, kissing what’s available to him of her breasts.

Grinning again, she sweeps her hair up with the tie on her wrist, then leans to the side and pops the seat back. As she rocks her hips over him, she helps him pull off his shirt.

“There we are,” she says, running her hands over his bare chest.

“This might be the most comfortable car sex we’ve ever had,” he remarks.

“Practice is essential.”

They rock into one another blissfully for a few moments, then Ellie stops suddenly. Her eyes grow wide. Alec drops his hands to her thighs and blinks at her.

“Condom.”

He breathes in sharply. “Fuck.”

She quickly lifts herself up and topples over onto the driver’s seat, panting. She runs a hand over her face. “Jesus,” she exhales. “That was close.”

He frowns. “Not _that_ close.”

She situate herself, pulling her dress down. “Too close for my comfort.”

He reaches for the lever next to his seat and raises himself up with an unhappy groan. “Bloody vasectomy’s been nothin’ but trouble.”

Ellie is leaning back against the car door, trying to even out her breathing. “Do we --- should we get one of those Plan B pills? To be safe?”

Alec pulls up his briefs and trousers with a huff. “I, um.”

“Probably, right? I mean, you were – there was enough that – even though you didn’t – there was still –“ She presses her face against the steering wheel and groans.

“I’ll go first thing in the mornin’,” he assures her, reaching out to find her hand. “’s all right.”

She nods to herself, looking down at her lap. “Don’t think I’m ovulating anyhow. But still, be best if you did, I think.”

Alec cups her cheek and rubs it with his thumb. “I will.”

She nods and attempts a half-smile. “Call it a night?”

He nods. “Yeah, all right.”

*

As quietly as possible, they get ready for bed, tiptoeing around Aila asleep in her crib. Laying side by side in the dark, Alec runs his fingertips up and down Ellie’s bare arm.

“Sorry I didn’t remember.”

“No,” Ellie says quickly. “It’s down to me as much as you. Birth control is a partnership.”

He smirks. “Like everythin’ else for us.”

She smiles. “Yes.”

“Don’t need to shag _every_ night of our shag holiday,” he points out reasonably, if unconvincingly.

“Then it’s not really a shag holiday, is it?” Ellie chuckles quietly.

“Happy to just be alone in bed with you,” he assures her, tucking her hair behind her ear and stroking it.

“With a tiny interloper several metres away.” She raises her head slightly and gestures at Aila’s playpen crib.

“Sort of nice to listen to her breathin’, isn’t it?”

Ellie grins back. “Yeah,” she replies. “It’s like listening to your heartbeat.”

He goes a little red. “Ah, stop that.”

“The best sleep aid there is.” She reaches a hand over and places her palm over his scar.

He covers her hand with his. “You ready for Loch Ness tomorrow?”

“Fred’s going to lose his mind,” Ellie says. “Tom too, possibly. Was very into that creature when he was Fred’s age, maybe a bit older.”

“Good. Give them somethin’ to focus on other than their devices,” Alec notes. “Some lovely picnic spots as well, we’ll bring a basket.”

“Sounds glorious,” she replies. “Hopefully the weather holds.”

“She’s real, you know.”

“Who is?” Ellie frowns.

“Nessie.”

They hear a bit of a rustling and a soft gurgle. Ellie props herself up on her elbows to look.

“Ah.” She smirks at Alec. “It appears we’ve woken the beast.”

Alec can’t help his grin as he sits up. Aila has her little face pressed into the mesh wall of her playpen, opening and closing her mouth against it.

“Oi, what’s this now…”

Aila pulls herself up to standing, her eyes peeking over the top. They can see her grin via her eyes alone.

“Doesn’t sleep as hard as she used to, evidently,” Ellie notes. “When you were an infant, little one, Mummy and Daddy could get away with all _kinds_ of things with you in the room.”

Aila bounces. “Ayayayayaya.”

With a chuckle, Alec gets up and goes to her, lifting her out of the playpen, sleep sack hanging off her.

“She just wants to get into bed with us,” Ellie reminds him. “Thinks we’ve having a party or something over here.”

“Oh, I know.” He smooches Aila’s cheek. “As if we’d _ever_ throw a party without you, my wee princess.” He carries her over to the bed and places her on the mattress, then crawls back under the covers.

“We can’t let her get attached to this,” Ellie says warningly as Aila starts to climb up her body mischievously. “You know how hard it was to get Fred out of my bed after Joe.”

“Just a holiday treat.”

Ellie pulls the baby into her arms and smooshes her, planting kisses all over her face. “You little menace.”

“Mumumumum,” Aila murmurs into Ellie’s chest.

Ellie freezes. “What was that then?”

Aila looks up at her and reaches her hand out. “Mumumumum.”

Ellie’s mouth pops open and she glances over at Alec. He grins and nods. “Think that counts,” he says.

Ellie looks back down at Aila and tickles her neck. “Did you say _Mumma_ , little bug?”

“Mumum,” Aila repeats proudly.

Ellie covers her in kisses all over again.

“Unbelievable,” Alec says. “She waits ‘til we’re in Scotland to pull out both _Mumma_ and _Dada_.”

“Picks her moments, this one does.”

Ellie lays the baby onto the bed and she rolls into her father, immediately snuggling into him. He sighs dramatically. “All right, I _suppose_ she can stay.”

“Our little snuggle bunny,” Ellie coos. “Even better than a shag, you are.”

All three fall asleep content and satisfied.

*

The next morning, Fred is awake with the sun and their day starts far too early. Alec sneaks out immediately after breakfast and finds a chemist to pick up the emergency contraceptive. Then the roughly thirty minute drive to Loch Ness is peppered with incessant questions from both Fred _and_ Tom, few of which Alec can actually answer but can theorize about for hours on end if needed. Ellie is already exhausted. Boys and monsters. She’ll never quite understand it.

When they reach their destination, Ellie and Daisy hold down the fort at what they deem the perfect picnic spot while the boys explore to their heart’s content. Aila takes her morning nap in her buggy.

“Mum’s taking me shopping when we get back,” Daisy tells her stepmother. “Things for the dorm. Books.”

Ellie furrows her brows a bit. “Does your dad know? I thought we were taking you shopping.”

“Mum’s insisting.”

“Hmm. All right.” Ellie shrugs, popping an almond into her mouth. “You and I can do a bit of clothes shopping if you want.”

Daisy smiles. “Perfect. You have much better taste than she does.”

Ellie snorts. “First time I’ve ever been praised for my fashion sense.”

“Well, it’s changed, surely you’ve noticed,” Daisy tells her.

“…What has? My _fashion_?”

“Yeah, you’ve got this cool, earthy mum thing happening now. Before it was sort of…starchy detective and frazzled mum. It’s all more relaxed now. You’ve got all these flowy things. Loose and effortless-looking.”

Ellie blinks at her. “Well it must be effortless if I’ve not noticed it at all.”

“It’s nice,” Daisy says. “You wear all these dresses now, sleeveless things. Earthy colors, greens and tans and browns. Dark purples.”

“How on earth have you found the time to notice _this_?” She laughs in response.

“We _live_ together, El. Not like I had to play detective.” Daisy steals a handful of almonds. “We’ve all changed over the last years in different ways. That’s just one I’ve noticed about you. We might do to highlight your hair though.”

Ellie’s eyes widen. “What’s wrong with my hair?”

“Nothing _wrong_ with it,” Daisy insists. “Just could use a little…nuance. Highlights, lowlights, something. Maybe go a bit darker. Works well with your skin tone. Especially if you’re going to keep growing it out.”

Ellie touches her hair and runs her fingers through it. “Never thought about any of that. I just sort of…get it cut when I think of it. Don’t do much else.”

Daisy sits up on her knees excitedly. “Maybe we can do a sort of spa day before I leave. Nails, hair, mud baths…”

“Mud baths?!”

“Well, whatever.” She throws an almond into her mouth. “Dad’ll be much less focused on my leaving if we get you looking…you know.” She wriggles her eyebrows.

Ellie frowns. “I look just fine thank you.”

“Course you do. Obviously you do. But we could still do you up a bit,” Daisy says. “When’s the last time you bought new underthings? Or exfoliated?”

“I exfoliate!”

Daisy laughs. “We’ll do facials anyway.”

Ellie is still frowning, looking out at the lake pensively.

“El.” Daisy nudges her. “You’re a fit mum. You’re in great shape. Just think you might be able to have some fun if you pay a little more attention. Not because I think you _need_ to, just that you might enjoy it. That’s all,” she says. “Dad could do with some primping as well, I reckon. The running is good and all but he might consider a bit of weight training. Bulk up a bit.”

Ellie pouts a bit. “I like the way he is now.”

“But you could like him _more_.”

“Daisy, is there any particular _reason_ you’re trying to make us over just before you leave for uni?” She looks at her stepdaughter pointedly. “Are you worried your dad and I will go off each other once you’re gone? Because that’s…” She laughs.

“No!” Daisy laughs too. “Just. There might be a small…void or something with me gone. I’d rather you fill it with some extra attention to your appearances than with another baby.”

“Good christ, no contest there,” Ellie agrees. “Why on earth have you got that on the brain?”

“Fred.” Daisy sighs and lays back on the blanket. “Been complaining about it. Thinks if I’m gone you’ll have to replace me.”

Ellie shakes her head, laughing dubiously. “That _boy_ , I tell you.”

Shortly thereafter, the three Hardy boys return to the lakeside picnic spot. Fred runs over and launches himself at Daisy for seemingly no reason; she falls backwards and he tries to trap her. Ellie hops up and goes to Alec, slinking her arms up around his neck and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“Miss me already then, lass?” His eyes glimmer at the sight of her.

She’s suddenly squeezing his arms, feeling his chest and abs. “Just fine to me,” she murmurs to herself.

He raises an eyebrow. “…What’s that now?”

“Daisy suggested you might bulk up a bit. And I might do something with my hair.” She smoothes her hands over his shoulders. “But I’ve no complaints.”

He clasps his hands at the small of her back. “Nor I.” He presses a kiss underneath her jawline. “I like your hair.”

“And I like your…” She feels his torso up and down. “All of you.”

He kisses her briefly on the lips. “’s just like our Daiz, tryin’ to stir up trouble before she ups and leaves us.”

“Daddy!” Fred calls out.

“I’ll explain later,” Ellie tells him.

Once most of their picnic lunch is frenziedly consumed, Tom and Daisy walk along the water’s edge, in a fierce stone-skipping competition. Ellie is bent over holding Aila’s hands, helping her to stumble around on her feet. Meanwhile, Fred hangs on Alec.

It’s a thing he does. A thing small children do, Ellie says. Fred will hang on him a bit like a monkey. Or drape himself over and across him. “They’ve no concern for your physical body, children,” Ellie tells him. “They feel they own you entirely.” Fred has _certainly_ claimed ownership of his father.

“Daddy,” Fred says, drawing out the word, while he climbs on Alec.

“Yes, _laddie_.”

Fred says nothing. He doesn’t get the joke. Alec sighs.

“Go on, lad,” Alec amends.

Fred hangs on Alec’s shoulders, bending his knees and keeping his feet off the ground. “Do you love me and Tom the same amount as you love Daisy and Aila?”

Alec tries to extricate Fred and pull him onto his lap, but the boy is quite sticky. “’Course I do. Sort of question is that?”

“But Daisy and Aila have your blood in them. Doesn’t that mean you love them more?”

Alec finally succeeds in yanking Fred around to his lap. “Not a chance, mate. Love all four of you the same.”

“Even though you’ve had Daisy the longest?”

“Yep.”

“Even though Daisy and Aila both have _ai_ in their names and we don’t?” Fred looks up at him, very seriously.

Alec nearly snorts. “Good eye, mate. Yes, even though.” And then, in an effort to distract the boy, “Different sounds though, aren’t they. D _ai_ sy and _Ai_ la.”

Fred furrows his brow, processing the information. “One sounds like _ay_ and one sounds like _eye_.”

“’s right, lad.”

Fred pouts. “Letters are hard.”

“The English language contains many mysteries,” Alec agrees.

Fred curls up in his dad’s lap, almost shrinking himself. “Will there ever be another baby?”

Alec frowns. “What other baby?”

“ _Like Ailie_ ,” the boy clarifies with slight annoyance. “Will you ever have another _baby_?”

“Ah, no, Fred, don’t you worry,” Alec assures him. “That ship has sailed off into the distance. Way, way off.”

“No more babies after Aila,” Fred confirms hopefully.

“Aye,” Alec replies. “No more babies. The last of her kind, Miss Aila Grace.”

Ellie slowly walks Aila towards them, one wobbly step at a time. “Gettin’ steadier and steadier, this one is!”

Aila stares at the ground as Ellie helps her walk, deep in concentration and entirely baffled by the mechanics of her own limbs and also gravity. Fred hops up from Alec’s lap.

“Gonna go jump on Tom,” he says matter-of-factly. “TOM!!!!”

He runs full-speed in his unassuming brother’s direction. Alec is rubbing his face, recovering from their conversation.

“Fred’s on about us not havin’ another baby again,” Alec tells her.

“I heard,” Ellie replies, lifting Aila up into her arms and closing the gap between them. “Been on about it to Daiz as well, apparently. Seems to think that with her gone we’ll feel the need to replace her at home.”

“Oi.”

Ellie sits down on the blanket beside him, setting Aila in between them.

“Think we forget how much it’s all been for him,” she says.

“What d’you mean?” Aila climbs onto his lap. He digs a pacifier out of her bag and pops it into her mouth.

“Well, everything.” Ellie pulls out her water bottle. “One minute Joe was with him every second of the day, the next gone altogether. Then Tom gone. Just him and me for nearly eight months. Then Tom’s back. Then Mum dies. Then Dad moves in. Then you come about. You and Daiz move in. Aila is born. We get married. And now, Daisy leaves.” She takes a breath. “Quite a lot for our wee mate, all of six years old.”

Alec nods, now flooded with memories. “Easy to forget, what with him bein’ so…chirpy and imaginative.”

Ellie chuckles. “He builds his own little worlds. Makes good sense when you think about it. He functions a bit like an only child does.”

He squints at her, all the while absently stroking a very relaxed Aila’s arm. “How’s that?”

“Might be those eight months on our own. Might be the age difference between him and Tom, now him and Aila too. He’s learned to entertain himself. Has these little…obsessions that mean everything to him. Change really knocks him on his arse,” Ellie explains. “You ought to know, I should think. Given your age difference with Greer and Bridget.”

“Mm.” He nods, looking down. “S’pose that’s true enough. I was rather self-sufficient, I admit. Stopped bein’ a kid too early. Our Fred’s not like that.”

“No.” Ellie smiles softly. “Thank goodness. We must keep the kid in him for as long as we can. I think Aila will help with that soon enough. A six year gap is something but it’s not insurmountable. They’ll play together in time.”

They look over to see that Fred and Tom are engaged in some sort of wrestling match all too close to the water.

Ellie sighs. “I swear if those boys track mud all through our Airbnb…”

With a sly grin, Alec hands Aila back over to Ellie and hops up. “If they do, you can blame me!”

He takes off at a run toward them. Ellie is laughing helplessly until suddenly she is gasping. Alec takes a tumble on a hidden rock a few metres from Tom and Fred, letting out a short cry of alarm. She leaps to her feet and jogs over with Aila on her hip.

“Bloody soddin’ rocks,” Alec curses, writhing on the ground. “Just all…out here where anyone could trip over ‘em. Bloody hell.”

“We all right?” Ellie questions, handing Aila off to Daisy and crouching down to his level.

She attempts to help him sit up, but he cries out and winces.

“Daddy, did you break your leg?!” Fred asks, staring dumbfounded.

“My ankle,” Alec gasps out.

“All right, sit back now,” Ellie says calmly, guiding him back down on his elbows. “Let’s see what we’ve got.”

She gently pushes up his trouser leg and has a look. “Oof.” She carefully feels around his ankle until he yelps a bit. “Ah, there it is then.” She glances at his pained expression. “Bear with, love.” She removes his shoe, followed by his sock. The kids are watching with rapt attention. “Bit black and blue already,” she determines. “I’m no expert but my guess is we’ve got a twisted ankle on our hands. Possible sprain.”

Alec scoffs. “ _No expert_ , you don’t say,” he grumbles crankily.

“Watch your mouth, detective, I _was_ married to a paramedic for thirteen years,” Ellie shoots back.

The reminder of Joe makes Alec even crankier. He moans unhappily.

“Tom, come on.” She looks up at her oldest son. “Help me get him to the car. And steel yourself, he’s going to fight us every step of the way. Literally.”

*

It’s a messy, uncomfortable, grumbly ride back to the Airbnb. With Tom’s help, Ellie gets the injured Alec to the sofa. Daisy heads upstairs to put Aila down for her afternoon nap while Tom and Fred clean themselves up upstairs.

Ellie props Alec’s left ankle up on a pillow and sits beside it. She lightly runs her fingers over his swelling skin.

“Still awful?”

“Less pain, more…tightness and numbness now,” he replies, adjusting himself to his comfort.

“You can still feel me though, yeah?” She continues to drag her fingers up and down from his calf to his foot.

He nods and swallows. “…Feels nice.”

Ellie smirks at him. “Sounds like you’re all right then.”

She gets him some ibuprofen and he swallows them dry, which never ceases to astound her. Then she goes rummaging around for something approximating an ice pack and is impressed to find one in the freezer. She wraps it in a thin tea towel and returns.

“This’ll help.” She presses it to his ankle.

They sit quietly together for a moment. She watches his expression change from pained to annoyed back to pained and then finally to resigned. She strokes his knee.

“What do you think?” She asks. “Do we need a doctor?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Not if it stops you from playin’ nurse.”

She rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling. “I’m going to pop out and grab a bandage to wrap you up. And whatever else I can find that might be of use,” she tells him. “You’re not to move from this sofa, not for anything. Daiz and Tom can handle things for thirty minutes.”

“Yes, Nurse Hardy.”

“Oh boy.” She pats his knee and shakes her head before standing. “Bloody clumsy pain in the arse, you are.” She leans down and kisses his cheek, then lingers a moment to stroke his hair away from his face. She then finds the television remote and hands it to him. “Be good.”

*

Alec is stuck on the sofa for hours on end. Once Ellie has bandaged him up as well as she can, he’s allowed to move on the rarest of occasions, mostly when he needs to use the loo. And he must use her a crutch in order to do so.

“Romantic,” he comments with a scoff at one point, as she holds him steady next to the toilet.

“Truly a fairy tale, you and I,” she agrees.

The kids are thrilled because it means supper can happen in the living room in front of the telly. They order pizza, to Alec’s utter disappointment, a decidedly non-Scottish meal. Later, Alec laments not being able to tuck Fred into bed or rock Aila to sleep. He’s already tired of everything that’s on the telly.

Once the little ones are sound asleep, those with a later bedtime decide to watch a film. Tom sprawls out on the floor, hogging the popcorn. Daisy is exhaustedly collapsed on the overstuffed armchair near the sofa. Alec lays back against Ellie. He keeps his foot propped up on a pillow. Tom and Daisy dutifully try to ignore the intimacy between their parents, as Ellie is absently rubbing Alec’s chest as if to keep him soothed and he is holding her other hand, curling their fingers together. She occasionally kisses his hair or his temple. It’s a simple, quiet show of affection, but it is one that reminds both Tom and Daisy that they are single and they have yet to experience anything remotely resembling the love that is currently in the room with them. But they try to focus on the film.

After Tom and Daisy say their goodnights, Ellie attempts to do the same.

“Where are _you_ goin’?” Alec complains with a frown.

“To bed.”

“Upstairs?!”

She nods. “…Where the bed is.”

“ _El_.”

She sighs and sits on the edge of the sofa. “Love, that sofa is not like ours at home. It can’t handle us both.”

Alec regards her without absolute disbelief, his mouth slightly open. “Don’t wanna be without you,” he says. “Not after…”

She remembers the nearly two weeks they slept apart, a situation which ended only a few days earlier.

“I know,” she sighs. She glances around the room. Then sighs again. “All right.” She pulls the armchair closer to the sofa so that the arms of each are touching. “I’ll sleep here.”

His eyebrows furrow. “In the chair?”

“Best we can do, I’m afraid.”

She covers him in a blanket, then finds one for herself.

“I love you, my sweet invalid,” Ellie whispers softly, leaning down to kiss his lips.

He touches her cheek and returns the kiss. “I’m expectin’ a sponge bath in the mornin’.”

She whacks his arm lightly. “Get off with you.”

Ellie settles into the chair, squirming until she’s as comfortable as possible. Then Alec reaches for her hand. They fall asleep that way, fingers tangled together across the space between them.

***


	6. Chapter 6

Alec wakes the next morning with a grinny baby on his chest. Ellie is nearby, mimicking the same grin as she bites her thumbnail in anticipation. This way, he wakes up happy, forgetting the injury to his ankle. Aila blows raspberries at him proudly. But when he tries to sit up, he winces in pain.

They see a doctor in Inverness. Alec is given crutches and a prescription for extra-extra strength ibuprofen. All he can do now, the doctor says, is stay off of it as much as possible. That’s the only way it will heal.

Alec immediately feels like he is ready to jump out of his own skin. He feels restrained, like something is strapping him down. One sodding rock at Loch Ness and that’s an entire six to eight weeks of his life out the window.

They decide to skip Aberdeen and go straight to Edinburgh. Due to the two-floor Airbnb, Alec and Ellie are relegated to the sofa bed on the first floor. This means all the children get their own rooms, Daisy in the master, being the eldest, and they are thrilled beyond measure.

“You need to ring Jenkinson,” Ellie tells him the first night, after the kids have happily retired to their own rooms. “Let her know you’ll be strictly desk-bound when we’re back.”

“Not ringin’ her at half ten, Ellie.” He’s grumbling and groaning as he adjust the pillows on the sofa.

“Don’t get smart with me,” she snaps back. “It wasn’t _me_ you tripped over at Loch Ness.”

She places a mug of tea in his hands. He breathes it in.

“This is goin’ to affect movin’ Daiz into her dorm in a few weeks,” he says quietly, sadly.

“I’ve already thought about that,” Ellie replies. She gently lifts his ankle and sits down with him, placing his ankle on her lap. “You and Tess will drive her up together, Tess doing the driving. Then you can take the train back. So you don’t have to do eight hours alone with her.”

He groans, purely out of habit at this point. “Have to stop overnight.”

“Yes, probably.” She takes a sip of her own tea. “But you’ll be a master at those crutches by then, I doubt you’ll need to rely on Tess any.”

He’s quiet then. Sipping his tea and staring off. She watches him thoughtfully.

“You’ll need to resign yourself to relying on _us_ in the meantime.”

Alec frowns at her.

“I know how you _loathe_ asking for help but there’s no way around it now,” she tells him. “You’ll not only have to _ask_ for help you’ll need to _let us_ help you. I refuse to fight you for the next six to eight weeks, you understand me?”

He says nothing. Ellie accepts his silence as agreement or at least acquiescence.

“Can’t pick up my baby,” he mumbles eventually.

She looks at him a moment. “You can _hold_ her. You can hold her all you like.”

“She’s gettin’ squirmier and squirmier. No stayin’ still for our wee lass anymore. She won’t be content to just sit around with her old invalid dad,” Alec argues.

“For you, she’ll do anything,” Ellie reminds him. “For you, the moon.”

Alec cracks a smile. But it fades.

“But I can’t be alone with her,” he says. “Not for very long. Can’t chase after her. Can’t stop her from runnin’ into things and fallin’ off things and chokin’ on Fred’s wayward Legos.”

Ellie sighs and nods. “I know. I’m sorry, love.”

“Got no solution for _that_ , do ya.”

“No. ‘Fraid not,” she replies, rubbing his leg. “But I love you. And it’ll be all right. Anyway, who knows, perhaps you’ll heal quickly. If you do as the doctor says. If you _truly_ stay off it, we might be surprised. That’s motivation to be good and ask for help, eh.”

He nods solemnly and returns to silence for a few minutes. Ellie does the same.

“Holiday’s been a bit of a quagmire, no?” He looks at her. “Sprained ankle, baby’s fever, our row.”

“Meanwhile, Dad’s in the rehab facility,” she adds. “What’s become of us?”

He glances at her very seriously. “Ought to keep a close eye on Fred. I’ve got quid on him to keep our bad luck goin'.”

*

“I broke my foot when I was nine.”

Alec and Tom are the first in the kitchen the next morning. Tom stands by the counter, waiting for their toast to pop up.

“Had to miss football. Couldn’t do gym at school. Could barely go out and play with my mates,” Tom continues, taking a sip of his orange juice. “I remember Dad had to change his work schedule to be home with me after school ‘cause I was always running into things. Not very good at the crutches. And Mum was pregnant with Fred. Like pretty far into it. So she wasn’t much help.”

Alec leans back in his chair. “How’d you break it?”

“Tumbled down a hill by the cliffs like a stupid idiot.” The toast pops out and Tom puts a slice on each plate, then reaches for the jam. “Mum went ballistic, nearly toppled down after me. Thank god Dad was there at least. Did come in handy having a paramedic in the family I guess. Dad was looking after both of us for a while, me and Mum. She was on some kind of bedrest. Like not exactly bedrest but she had to stop working. I don’t remember much else about it.” Tom hands a plate to Alec. “We’ve always had shit timing in this family.”

Alec’s mind wanders as he munches on his toast, thinking about a time when Ellie, Tom, and Joe were _this family_. When Ellie would rely on Joe. When Joe would take care of them. Bring Ellie, his pregnant wife, breakfast in bed and help Tom learn to use his crutches. It’s a bit dizzying.

Thinking of Ellie as anyone else’s pregnant wife is more than Alec can bear.

“D’you do right by your doctors?” He asks Tom suddenly, shaking himself out of it. “Stay off it and all?”

“Yeah, mostly.” Tom shrugs. “I was so desperate to get back to the team. I totally _lived_ for football then. Plus it was kinda nice just sitting around and watching telly all the time.” He takes a bite of his toast and sits down at the table. “You just gotta give in to it, you know? Just accept the laziness. It’s only temporary. And you’ve got a good excuse, right.”

“…Right.”

*

It’s a miserable day.

For Alec, anyway.

He had been looking forward to giving Daisy a proper tour of Edinburgh for _ages_. Though Edinburgh is not his ancestral home, he spent a good deal of time there in his teenage and university days. It’s close enough to home that he considers it essential to make Daisy feel like it’s her home too.

But instead he’s laid up. Stuck on the sofa. Drinking cup after cup of tea. (Making tea being more or less the only things he’s allowed to do.)

He writes out detailed instructions for Ellie to do the tour in his place. He makes her print out several maps and marks them up studiously. Ellie tries not to roll her eyes. It may all be nonsense to her, but it means something to him.

For her part, Ellie wishes she could have at least left the baby with him. Left him with _someone_ , some member of his family to spend time with. But Fred refuses to be left out, Tom wants to familiarize himself with Daisy’s impending new life, and Aila cannot be properly looked after by Alec in his condition. So he is left alone for the afternoon.

She sends him both photos and videos, but she has a sneaking suspicion she may be making it worse.

 _I love you_ , she texts him after the fourth video.

 _Yeah, good_ , he replies.

*

When they return, Alec sits with Daisy outside, valiantly concealing the discomfort in his ankle.

“It’s fine, you know,” Daisy says. “You’ll come up whenever you like. We can still do all of the things together. Only later.”

He nods and covers her hand with his. “I know, darlin’. Thanks for sayin’ that.”

“I imagined everything through your eyes anyway,” she says with a small smile. “And El does a bloody hell of an impression of you, do you know that?”

Alec frowns. Daisy snorts.

“It’s really quite good.” Daisy tucks her feet underneath her. “So really it’s almost like you were there.”

“…I’ll have to speak to her about that.” He glances at her with a sad smile. “Sorry this holiday’s been such a letdown.”

“Not been a let down!” Daisy argues. “I’ve been having a jolly good time, honestly. So has Tom. So has Fred.” She chews on her bottom lip. “Probably ‘cause our expectations were so low.”

“Thanks for that.”

She looks down at her shoes and flexes her ankles. “Just happy you and El are yourselves again.”

Alec attempts to cross one leg over the other instinctively, but then winces and returns his foot to the ground. “Did we have you worried?”

“Not _worried_ , not like…properly worried, it was just…uncomfortable, you know?”

Alec nods.

“We weren’t worried you were gonna split up or anything,” Daisy clarifies.

“Good,” he replies. “’s not somethin’ you _should_ worry about. Ever.”

Daisy nods in exactly the same way. “Good.”

“And we’ll not be havin’ another bloody baby either so the lot of you can just sod off about that,” Alec scoffs.

Daisy chuckles. “I mean. You know. It’s just, like. Aila’s one of a kind, right. She’s not like a regular baby she’s a cool baby,” Daisy says with a slight American accent.

Alec raises an eyebrows.

“It’s – “ She rolls her eyes. “It’s from _Mean Girls_ , Dad. Sort of.”

“Ah.”

“She’s like a person,” Daisy says. “Other babies are kind of…annoying. Cute but annoying. Especially when they’re keeping you up at night.”

“Uh huh.” Alec smirks. “Well, your sister’s a character, that’s for certain. And she’ll be the _last_ of her kind. All right?”

“Thank fuck.”

*

Alec sits in an armchair with Aila while Ellie makes the sofa into a bed. Aila yanks at his beard and he responds each time by making a face, causing her to giggle over and over. By the time Ellie finishes, she lets out a breath and collapses onto the thin mattress. Then she looks over at them.

“God, you two, get a room,” Ellie quips.

Aila giggles when Alec makes a face at Ellie this time.

“Mummy’s _jealous_ , would you look at that,” he coos to the baby. “Can’t stand to see two people so in love.”

Aila squeezes his nose and he responds by smooching her cheek.

“We’ve got to get her to stay down,” Ellie says, sitting up, tucking one leg underneath her.

“It’s the travelin’,” he explains. “Different rooms. Sleepin’ in the playpen. She’ll be fine once she’s back to her routine, her nursery.”

Aila tips her head back and looks at Ellie from upside down, grinning. "Duck."

“Such a ham,” Ellie laughs, shaking her head.

“Mumumumum.” She holds her arms out.

Ellie launches herself up off the mattress and goes to her, flipping her right side up. “Little menace.” She plants kisses all over her face and brings her back to the sofa bed, sitting back against the cushions. Aila paws at Ellie’s top until she lifts it up and unhooks her bra. “Bless our silly little baby.”

Alec is watching her quietly. “Next holiday is just you and me, yeah?”

She looks over and offers him a half-smile. “Yeah, if you like. If we can manage it.”

“Much as I adore the kids…doesn’t feel much like a holiday, does it?”

Ellie chuckles, looking down at Aila, who is nursing enthusiastically. “No, s’pose not.”

With a slight groan, he lifts his leg so his ankle is resting on the mattress. “Where would you have us go?”

“Oh, hmm.” She looks around the room aimlessly, eyes glazing over. “Australia maybe. Or Italy. Greece. Morocco.”

“Have you been?”

She snorts. “Are you joking? Never. A weekend in Paris back in uni, that’s it. And Mallorca of course.”

“Right, then,” he says. “I’m puttin’ it into the universe now. Sometime in the next…year, let’s say, I will take you to one of those places.”

Ellie grins, her cheek a bit pink. “All right.”

Aila coughs a bit, startling them both, then immediately goes back to nursing.

*

There’s not much point in staying in Edinburgh any longer, they reason, with Alec laid up. They decide to return to Glasgow early, where Alec can be more comfortable and they can at least spend time with extended family. The Glaswegian Hardys are thrilled with this development, Greer especially.

By now, Daisy and Tom are allowed to go out in the city on their own, provided their mobiles are fully charged and in their hands at all times. Fred resents being left out by his older siblings but is placated when Megan brings Melody over. His twelve-year-old cousin is at the very least a captive audience and has yet to learn how to say no to his demands on her attention.

“I blame Nessie.”

Ellie removes the rim of her wine glass from her lips. “ _What_?”

“She’s bad luck. Makes people do daft things,” Greer continues. “Boys have the most inane fascination with her, she draws them in, makes them lose their good sense.”

“You’re thinking of Circe,” Ellie replies, drawing upon what little of the classics she learned in school.

“No, no. Nessie’s the troublemaker.”

Ellie briefly stares at her sister-in-law, then takes a long sip of her wine.

They’re sitting on the porch together just the two of them as dusk moves into night.

“You’re all bloody mad, you Scots are.”

“Alec’s never broken a bone in his life!”

“Still hasn’t,” Ellie reminds her. “He tripped over a sodding _rock_ , Greer, it’s got nothing to do with Nessie or his apparent fascination. Though possibly his good sense.”

Greer throws back some of her scotch with a sly smile on her face. “He’s a terrible patient you know.”

“Oh I know.”

“Ornery is absolutely every way.”

“Not uncommon.”

“Isn’t your dad still in hospital?” Greer asks.

“Rehab facility now,” Ellie answers. “But yes, basically.”

“You’ve really got your work cut out for you when you get home, lass.” Greer shakes her head. “Sure you don’t want to stay a few extra days?”

Ellie shrugs. “Not if we’d like to keep our jobs. And with four mouths to feed…”

“Three,” Greer says with a smirk. “The wee one eats for free.”

“Oh I don’t know, she may become murderous if we begin depriving her of her tomatoes.”

Greer shakes her head again, lifting her glass to her lips. “What _is_ it with that child and tomatoes.”

“Her father’s daughter, I suppose,” Ellie replies. “She’ll be demanding salads in due time.”

They drink silently for a few moments, watching as the moon emerges from behind the clouds.

“You’ll look after Daisy, yeah? When she’s in school.”

Greer looks almost insulted.

“’Course we will! Are you mad? She’ll not be able to be rid of us.”

“Thank you,” Ellie tells her sincerely. “And it would be helpful if you can be around when Alec and Tess move her into the dormitories. Alec will still be single-footed.”

“ _I’ll_ be there, at minimum,” Greer replies. “The whole clan may pile upon her too. She’ll be miserable.”

Ellie smiles. “She’ll be grateful. She’s a good one. Knows what she has.”

“Good.” Greer nods. “Best she not have to learn the hard way.”

“Yes,” Ellie agrees quietly, taking a sip of her wine.

*

Inside, Alec is halfway through a glass of red wine with his cousin, Megan. Seated on the sofa, his ankle is propped up on a pillow atop the coffee table. In addition to the limitation of his affliction, he is weighed down by the sleeping baby on his chest and a conked out six-year-old boy curled up into his side. Megan sits on the sofa opposite them, with Melody asleep and taking up most of the sofa’s real estate.

“Look at you,” Megan muses. “A soft old dad. Covered in small children. Who’d have thought.”

Alec responds by taking a long sip of his wine.

“Sweet the way they both sleep with their mouths open.” She nods at Aila and Fred.

He looks down and smirks. “Get that from their mother.”

“Are you comfortable?” Megan asks suddenly. “Do you need – “

“’m fine,” Alec assures her.

Raucous laughter from the front porch wafts in through the open windows. They both glance in its direction.

Megan shakes her head. “Those two shouldn’t be left alone together.”

“Certainly not with _wine_ ,” Alec agrees. Then he glances around. “Will you hand me my mobile?”

Megan grabs it off the coffee table and turns it over. Alec squints at the screen. He feels for his glasses on the side table and puts them on. She laughs out loud, nearly waking the children.

“Got the large print text and all,” Alec admits sheepishly. “But if the light’s bad – “

“Christ, we’re gettin’ old,” Megan laments.

"I've got a decade on you, don't start with me." He takes his glasses off again. “Daiz and Tom are on their way back.”

“Good.” She finds the clock mounted on the wall. “10:30. Sensible of them.”

“11pm curfew,” Alec tells her. “Keep them on a short leash in a semi-foreign city.”

“Semi-foreign,” Megan repeats.

“To them.” He puts his mobile down and pats Aila’s back when she turns her head. “Not to me. ‘m not _so_ far gone.”

Megan nods slowly, trying to suss him out. Then Fred squirms and lifts his head, eyes half-closed.

“Daddy,” he croaks out, voice laden with sleep.

“Yeah, mate.” He looks down at the boy.

“Aquaman’s gonna find Nessie.”

And with that, he buries his face in Alec’s ribcage again, mouth hanging open.

“…Good, then.”

Alec and Megan both try to quiet their laughter. But their efforts are negated by the boisterous entrance of Ellie and Greer, who both loudly shush themselves when they notice the sleeping children. Ellie immediately pulls her mobile out and snaps a photo just as Alec rolls his eyes.

“An accurate portrait, then,” Ellie notes, pocketing the mobile again. She approaches them thoughtfully. “Hmm, which one should go first…” She moves toward Fred. “Come on, little love,” she whispers.

“Mumma,” Fred mutters pitifully, folding himself into Ellie’s arms.

“To bed with you, my sweet.” Then she smiles at Alec. “Like them to stay this age forever.”

He smiles back. “Me too.”

“But then they’d never _leave_ ,” Greer snorts, effectively ruining the moment.

Megan tosses a pillow at her mother.

“Oi! Exactly!”

*

Late that evening, Alec is sitting up in bed, in his briefs and unbuttoned shirt, when Ellie walks in. His crutches are propped up against the bedside table.

“You made it upstairs!” She declares gleefully, clasping her hands together.

He winces a bit as he gets comfortable. “Daisy helped.”

“What a peach.”

Ellie closes the door behind her, then immediately starts wriggling out of her trousers as she hops toward her suitcase. “Think I’ve gained half a stone in the last two weeks.” She peels them off her ankles, balancing on one foot.

“The whole point of a holiday, isn’t it?” He raises an eyebrow at her, his gaze falling to her arse.

“ _No_.” She looks back at him sternly. “You’ve been laid up half the time and you’ve still not put on one pound, I’d wager.”

Alec pats his stomach. “Dunno. One or two is possible.”

Ellie rolls her eyes at him then pulls her top over her head. She kicks her clothing aside and faces the bed. Then she slaps her own arse cheek.

“Look at that,” she says. “Watch it _jiggle_.”

“Oh I’m watchin’, lass.”

She ignores him. “And _here_ ,” she continues, pinching her hips. “ _Love handles_.”

Alec snorts. “Speakin’ my language now.”

“And here.” She pats her stomach.

“ _Ellie_ ,” he complains. “I can’t get up and seduce you now so you’re gonna have to come to _me_.”

She sighs heavily, but finds herself moving toward him, shoulders slumped in defeat. “Back to the gym when we get home, I think.”

He holds his arms out to her. She crawls over him, hovering above his thighs on her knees.

“Could always go runnin’ with me.” He reaches out both hands and grabs two fistfuls of her arse.

“I’d kill you,” she replies with a laugh. “Would be the end of our marriage.”

Alec smiles.

She squints back at him suspiciously. “What.”

“Like it when you remind me we’re married.”

Ellie lets out an exhale and lowers herself firmly down onto his lap.

“That we have a _marriage_ ,” he continues, sliding his hands up and down her bare thighs.

“What, as opposed to some sordid _concubine_ arrangement?” She pushes away the sides of his unbuttoned shirt and begins playing with his chest hair. “The subordinate who bears you a child but stays hidden away in a two-room cottage in the country.”

He smirks at her slyly. “Now _that’s_ a new game.”

Ellie laughs. “Dunno what kind of games you think you’ll be playing in _your_ condition, detective.”

“Reckon I’ll take what I can get.” He pinches her thigh.

She lets out a tiny yelp. “Yes, I reckon you will. And you’ll like it too.” She rotates her hips a bit when she feels him getting hard beneath her.

His eyelids flutter as he groans happily, unconsciously lifting his hips to meet hers. She grins and bites her lip. She pinches his nipple and he fixes her with dark eyes.

“’Fraid you’ll be doin’ most of the heavy liftin’ for a while,” he informs her sheepishly.

“Ah, no matter,” Ellie answers. “It’ll help me work off this holiday weight anyhow.”

“I like your holiday weight.” He slides his hands up her back, one hand underneath the band of her bra.

“So you admit there’s holiday weight.” She has one eyebrow raised.

“ _Ellie_ ,” he sighs with exasperation but then quickly relieves it by unclasping her bra quite deftly.

She lets the garment slip down then tosses it away. His chest rises and falls rapidly, his breath quickening at the sight of her bare breasts.

“You better be nice to me, old man,” she says, running the tip of her finger from his throat down to his waist. “Whether you get off or not for the next six to eight weeks depends entirely on me.”

Although initially weakened by her efforts, he manages to look back at her defiantly. “I do have hands of my own you know.”

She narrows her eyes at him and clicks her tongue. “Cheeky.”

He licks his lips and reaches out to cup both of her breasts. She glances down, watching him with a wry smile.

“Fine, then,” she says. “Whether or not you get to touch _these_ depends entirely on me.”

Alec barely hears a word she utters, so focused is he on the task at hand. Literally.

“You’d never keep them from me,” he mutters unconvincingly, even as she leans into his touch.

“Wouldn’t I.”

“What a cruel mistress,” Alec says to her breasts. “A torturous woman.”

Ellie blinks at him. “Oh please god do not start speaking to them.”

His eyes meet hers abruptly.

“Hey.” He nods at her.

“Hey what.” She leans forward, palms firmly planted on his chest.

Gently, Alec cups her cheek, then her chin, his hand continuing down her throat, past her collarbone and between her breasts. Then he smiles.

“I love you.”

She goes pink, both her cheeks and her chest.

“Unfair way to end an argument,” she breathes out, quite taken somehow.

He runs his other hand through her curls, tucking them behind her ear. “Weren’t actually arguin’ about anythin’ you know.”

She turns to kiss his hand as it moves to her cheek. “…Right.” Staring at the smoldering expression on his face, the tension between them rises and she breathes out. “…How’s your ankle.”

“Fine.”

“Good.”

Her lips twitch then slowly curve into a smile before she leans down and kisses him softly, stroking his hair with one hand. He shifts into the kiss, raising himself to meet her, a hand cupping the back of her head. She moans softly but he keeps her lips occupied, no room for air. His free hand slides into her knickers to squeeze her arse and she moans again. As his tongue slides over hers, she begins to melt into him, her breasts pressed into his chest.

“I love you too,” she exhales against his lips. “I love you so much.”

“Mmm.” She can feel him trying to grin but her urgent kisses stop him.

Then the bedroom door slowly creaks open, a stream of light from the hallway pouring in.

“Daddy?”

Ellie swiftly grabs a pillow to cover her breasts.

“All right, mate?” Alec attempts to raise himself on his elbows to get a look at his son.

Fred blinks at him sleepily. He holds Rhino by the neck at his side.

“What is it, love?” Ellie asks.

“………I forget.”

Ellie closes her eyes and lets out a heavy sigh.

“That’s all right, mate, can you go on back to bed then?” Alec takes over.

Fred nods. “Okay.”

“Close the door behind you please,” Ellie adds.

Fred nods again, trudging out of the room and pulling the door shut behind them. They listen as his little feet shuffle down the hall.

“Next holiday just you and me,” Alec affirms, gently removing the pillow from her grip.

Ellie looks at him with wide eyes. “I swear to god if the baby wakes up next…”

“Shh.” He reaches for her again, guiding her back down. “Give us a kiss, my wee bonny lass.” He puts the accent on extra thick.

Ellie grins, a shiver spreading throughout her body. “There we are,” she says as her lips reach his. “Now _there’s_ my Scottish holiday.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Sorry this story took so long.


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